This question is valuable, because it helped me crystallize some things in my head:

1. I don’t have the energy to make plans.
2. I don’t believe that I deserve something nice.
3. The only nice things I dream about and have the strength to keep in mind from time to time (a female body and voice, immortality for me and my family, the eradication of racism, transphobia and macho culture) are unattainable.

I’m writing this down and bringing it to my doctor next time I see them.