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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: October 20th, 2023

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  • What you are describing is less a throuple and more just bog standard Ethical Non-Monogamy with shades of Polygamy. It would be your wife with multiple partners and you making the proverbial (sometimes literal) sandwich.

    I emphasize that because there is a lot of media and societal pressure on all sides. ENM has increasingly become divided on gender lines with (cishet) men having been taught by the tates and the manosphere that it is taking THEIR women away from them and ruining THEIR women forever and so forth. Whereas women (and the lgbtq community) have almost flocked to it in a similar manner to “free love” back in the day as there is an increasing push to not actually have kids… at which point monogamous sex starts to make a lot less sense. Also it is a “good” way to justify splitting a two bedroom apartment’s rent six ways.

    Whereas throuples are often romanticized. In large part because people watched/read the trainwreck that was Twilight and all came to the realization that “she got two hands…”.

    At the end of the day? Every person and every relationship is different and it is really on you, your partner, and your friend to decide what works for you.

    For what its worth? Some very good friends of mine are in an ENM relationship and I’ve had a relationship in the past where we also weren’t exclusive sexually. But the ground rule we, and they, use is that they have one emotional partner. Sex is fun and harmless (if you use protection). I broke up with my ex but for completely unrelated reasons and said friends are perfectly happy as far as I can tell. Emotional bonds are where things get REALLY messy. I’ve always avoided it but every couple I’ve known that tried it fell apart within a year or two. Whether that is good or bad really depends on your life experiences and where you draw the line on “save the relationship” and “live your lives”.

    So, personally? If you and your partner want to try this I would suggest NOT banging the dude you clearly both already have emotional connections with. But, again, you do you.


  • I don’t use jellyfin but my general approach is either:

    1. Expose it over a VPN only. I usually use Tailscale for this so that I can expose individual machines but you do you
    2. Cloudflare tunnel that exposes a single port on a single internal machine to a subdomain I own

    There are obviously ways to do this all on your own but… if you are asking this question you probably want to use one of those to roll it. Because you can leave yourself ridiculously vulnerable if you do it yourself.


  • All signs are that he still has enough dirt and genuine threats to browbeat the republicans when it matters. There is a lot of argument toward making him do that rather than just assuming he will but that would involve the fucking democrats doing anything.

    The only “hope” will be IF we have fair midterm elections and there is a blue wave. Suddenly “only trump can get you reelected” will be forgotten (or, more pointedly, they’ll remember how he has never been able to do that…) and it will just be the die hards who know there is footage of them doing Whatever in moscow.


  • Because it works.

    kiwifarms has been doing this en masse for over a decade and others predated that.

    It is gauche to link to it considering this is the umpteenth fucking person murdered by angry and hateful bastards. But Patrick Klepek, someone who has been targeted by these orgs for over a decade, wrote about this in the context of the emulator developer Near being murdered by kiwi farms et al a few years back https://www.vice.com/en/article/what-i-learned-from-near-an-emulation-legend-and-real-person/

    He talked about it more on the Waypoint (now Remap) podcast, but it is very much an open secret that these hate campaigns are ongoing with the explicit goal of murdering their target (it is not fucking suicide if you were tormented until you picked up the gun). And how even fellow victims who usually will advocate for this kind of stuff are wary of raising their voices because they or their partner are semi regularly approached, in person, by these bastards.

    My hope, as always, is that this will be the last time. That this will lead to focused efforts by those with platforms to speak out. The reality is that the mid tier “creators” will probably say something and give the trite “If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the national suicide prevention lifeline”. Or, well, these days “the national slip and slide prevention lifeline” because gotta stay fucking monetized. And then they’ll remain silent. All while the biggies choose to stay fucking silent out of concerns of losing people in their audience who are part of those hate campaigns.


    To be clear, I do not fault the people who are under attack and wary of reminding those murderers they exist. I specifically linked to Patrick’s post because he and the (now Remap) crew did an amazing job of explaining exactly what goes into this and how painful it is and why they are genuinely afraid to speak up.

    I do very much fault the ludwigs and charlies of the world who will mention this for clicks and then never care again. And if the truly massive outlets were to speak out against this kind of harassment and reach out to the victims? Suddenly youtube and twitch and reddit and the like would care and start moderating this shit rather than laughing that kotaku in action and the like are so popular and only occasionally link to where the REAL hate and doxxing happens.