Neo-feudalism. People who don’t live off of investments (i.e., most of us) need to sell our labor to buy the necessities of life. Once the rich own everything and everyone else is poor, we will continue to sell our labor to pay off debts and make the lives of the wealthy comfortable in new and innovative ways.

Props to Dennis for not unleashing his fury , like the crashing of a thousand waves

Would be ironic if you deleted this post OP

Republicans will trot out the 'ol “give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day” line.

It’s surprising more men don’t wear heels when dating. Women have all sorts enhancements, it’s only fair we do the same.

Grindset only makes sense if you own your business. If you’re grinding to make more of a profit for someone else, you’re drinking the Kool-aid.

The house always wins. Happy cake day btw

The Epstein list is released, which implicates many beloved celebrities, public intellectuals, and even more politicians than everyone thought. And yet, somehow, only the people who hold a lot of their wealth in pesos face any real consequences (i.e., execution):

Impressive!

“Spread” indeed implies but does not entail that it happens instantly. For instance, Bill Gates could say that he “spread riches among the poor” without mentioning that he did it slowly, over decades. There’s a grammatical ambiguity to be exploited.

The wisest wish, may be no wish at all…

Uh, sure? Everyone must fart loudly once a day in front of people OR THEY WILL DIE. (I have made it so that everyone is aware of the aliment.) On the bright side, the social taboo around flatulence goes away:

Two of your friends hug you, but they are magically compelled to not let go. If they are somehow separated, they will always seek to reinstate the hug:

const SIMULATIONTHEORY = true. All humans on Earth are transported out of physical existence and unknowingly adapted to the realm of computer abstracta. From their perspective, nothing has changed: they have always lived in a post-scarcity, interstellar society with a benevolent, queer-friendly, communist government. The current owner of the simulation is startled to see the program start of its own accord, but altruistic enough to allow it to keep running:

Sure, I have now reduced the Earth’s gravity to 9.80664% of it’s previous value (i.e., ~0.96m/s²) by removing material in the Earth’s core and mantle. Everything on Earth now weighs less than on the moon. Earthquakes shake the planet, massive fissures swallow cities whole, and the atmosphere begins to disperse into the vacuum of space. Humans barely have enough time to escape to the moon and Mars: the vast majority are left behind. On the bright side, your back no longer hurts:

Your mortal understanding is limited. And a hive mind consciousness would be more empathetic, no?

Two buns enclosing, ketchup, onions, lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes are at your fingertips.

You are transported to a homestead deep within the Appalachian Mountains. You see seeds, goats, chickens, some tools, a well, a shed, and a small house. The homestead is magically separated from the rest of the world. You are doomed to survive by the fruit of your toil, stranded for decades without electricity, plumbing, or modern conveniences:

Your request has given a random depressed person a brief respite from their lethargy.