They make mushroom gummies too.

No.

My son went to turn in $5 he found at Freddy’s, the girl said " honey, you’re so sweet, you just keep it."

Nope, just wasn’t expecting that.

You’re missing his whole gag.

Us Treasury bonds is where it’s at

What a great reminder of the child you “lost”. Lol I’m sorry, that’s really dark.

I’d call 25 more than a few.

They’ve become so attached that they get anxious without them.

“Oh man, I gotta park far away so it doesn’t read my plates and info from the car… Well I’ve gotta bring my Galaxy watch so it counts all the extra steps I’ll be taking.”

Honestly just easier to leave it at home. Or in your vehicle, assuming you didn’t pass by the camera on your way, and leave it sufficiently far enough away. I doubt they can read RFID from cards yet, even at a close enough distance to cut the pole down, but might want to leave those at home as well.

Just don’t forget to leave any electronic devices at home.

You had a typo in there but it still works. It’ll be profitable by sending you directed ads based on when you’re home and what rooms you’re in most.

My ex and I were roommates with 3 other people. The others were all gone and we were in my room getting ready, she got up to get lube or a vibrating cock ring or something, I can’t remember. But she left the door open. I’m laying there, dick straight up in the air when her cat jumps on my bed. Whatever, it’ll leave when we get down to business. But no, the cat sneakily crawls between my legs and licks the underside of my helmet. Right where that line of skin is that connects head to shaft. I freaked, cat freaked and ran off, I go soft and the mood is over.

If you thought a cats tongue was scratchy on your hand…

The second is exactly right, though at the same time school books are a massive scam too. They’ll change a picture or reorganize the wording and say the old one is outdated. I don’t know anything about k-12 book sales but I am intimately aware of how the college book system works. So I can’t imagine it’s a whole lot different other than possibly cheaper to avoid scandal.

No! But what about the radiated winds coming out of Uranus?

Straight of hormuz… Mississippi River Delta…

Just add half a cup of sugar to your half cup of yogurt.

I took it as “this is the thought process that you might not have thought of” as in neurons firing differently. It’s not disrespectful to say one group thinks differently.

I have ADHD and my mind gets put on a track I can’t control, so sometimes I’ll hear someone say something and stop listening to the conversation and just find out where my brain chooses to let me off. Sometimes I laugh at the stop, while my friends kept up normal conversation. They’re like “what?” And I have to just laugh and wave it off because it’s not worth explaining my train of thought. Or why I’m laughing at their uncles golf cart crash that lead to him being hospitalized because of bees.

People think differently and sometimes you explain it, sometimes you don’t. Honestly in this context, I think it puts it in a light mood like a joking mansplaining, when they’re really explaining their neurodivergence. Like I often do with my son “listen here you little shit…” When he asks obvious insulting questions about when I was young and lived in caves, or what I remember about sailing with Columbus.

Clearly the intent isn’t misogyny.

It did at first, until I kept reading and figured out the context.

Sounds like a Bethesda glitch.