Jesus was super anti gay. You can tell by the way he hung out with exclusively men, rubbing their feet and kissing them on the lips like all heterosexual men do.

Treat your body like a garbage dump the night beforehand, too. Cheap Mexican, beer , etc. Nothing illegal about ripping some nuclear grade rancid farts in proximity to other people.

Hint: priests/religious leaders, republican politicians, anti-LGBTQ activists

“But I’m straight”

“So is spaghetti… Until it gets wet.”

“Okay but that’s a bad analogy because I just turn ten stories tall when I get wet.”

Don’t forget invading blue cities

But that would mean the bible is a lie. Surely a book that starts with a creation story, only for its second chapter to be a different creation story, and has 4 separate and often conflicting accounts of a Jewish, immigrant, hippy, socialist’s life could not contain a LIE!

He had a minor role in Home Alone 2, then I think he spent a bunch of time visiting some other putz’s private island.

When can we expect shitposts in the shitfounds community again?

My life now but just enough more money to feel secure and also I’d be a girl

The Dope Fiend Lean

Flavortown, OH

Netmaxxing

I like the part where they figured out the previously undiscovered secret in the race was to drive backwards. I tried that shit in Mario Kart when I was 8, you’re telling me NOBODY had tried it in that game before?

It’s definitely incel erotica. Saw a video once demonstrating that Reacher never actually needs to initiate anything with a woman, show any interest whatsoever, flirt, etc. He just sorta exists in proximity to women and they just sort of “give” him the sex that they apparently owe him for being the main character.

Checkmate, liberals

Look, non-sterile surgical procedures are perfectly safe. But wow, those rampant and definitely unrelated fatal infections sure are a bummer, huh?

You can take any person who’s had sufficient coverage and find an unfortunately timed picture of them waving that kinda looks like a Nazi salute. That’s not what happened with Elon, though. The people falsely equivocating those pictures with Elon’s enthused Nazi salute know it, too.

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

• Jean-Paul Sartre

Hell yeah