So, my therapist is referring me to a psychiatrist who she’ll work with to diagnose me, but currently she is leaning towards a social anxiety disorder with depression.
Firstly, I didn’t realize SAD was an actual disorder so I hadn’t considered it before.
But…I feel really crushed. I’m not trying to use SAD as an excuse or anything, but it feels like conscious brain knows what I should be doing as a communist, but my subconscious instinct over protects me and prevents me from actually being able to be social and organize and such. I just feel like such a useless sack of meat.
If anyone else here has suffered with this, could I ask for some advice, please?
Taking care of yourself is important. Hopefully the psychiatrist can prescribe you something that will make socializing a little bit easier.
After that, accept that you are going to make small steps. Calling yourself a failure rarely helps. Think of it like exercise. You don’t start out strong or fast. You get there slowly.
Find someone you can chat with. It’s okay if it’s online only and has nothing to do with Communism. Go to a restaurant alone. Find anything that makes you a bit uncomfortable and do it. It doesn’t matter that these aren’t directly furthering the cause. With time, things will get a bit easier.