I have a destination in mind as an emergency, but it does not have a permanent place of residence for me, so I might have to consider other options. I know that being homeless is an awful life, but I consider staying where I am an even worse possibility. I am considering running away because I cannot deal with the incompetence from my parents regarding so many things from empathy to cleaning the house (and they did even worse things to me… but that is too dark for this post).
For context, neither college nor working are suitable options for me because I am too traumatized from bad experiences in college and do not want to spend years getting a degree when the idea of constantly doing work for unknown benefits (degrees are becoming less valuable over time) hits my head, and no one is willing to hire me with my pathetic resume (I worked as a front-desk person at a place, and I volunteered at a store, but that is it).
I am not sure if I stated this already, but I live in Florida if anyone was wondering (revealing the state I live in is a risk that I feel like I have to take due to my potentially dire future circumstances).
Edit: For additional context, I cannot drive anymore due to trauma and just not being good at driving in general. I also live in a semi-rural place so a cab might be somewhat expensive.
A cheap tent will last longer per $ than an expensive one. An expensive sleeping bag is worth it. If you find the right town you can get 5 meals a day at soup kitchens. Sikh temples are top tier free food.
Picking fruit can be a decent job depending on the fruit. Its the right time of year for it too. Some farms will let you camp on their property. It won’t pay amazing but if you are living in a tent your only real cost is food. Some places might still offer piece work, (pay per bucket) which is hard at the start but better once you get into the swing of things. Farmers and other pickers tend to be quite socially forgiving people because most of them are a little weird themselves. Its not a good long term strategy but its great when you are young. Its an alright holding pattern and can give you some time to work out how to be.
From what I hear its mostly berries, citrus and tomatoes in FL. Tomatoes are hard on the back unless you learn to squat and shuffle along like a crab and you are in the sun all day. Berries are easier work than tomatoes but the pay is usually worse. Citrus have thorns and are heavy but you get some shade.
Cheap tent idea: Sounds good (not sure where to buy one, though). Sleeping bag: Good idea Picking fruit: Maybe? Gotta think about it and research.
Thank you for the advice! Do I need a good resume to start picking fruits?
The cheap tent is at walmart get a 3 man if you plan on living in it.
No resume required. Find out where the farms are, walk from farm to farm and find the guy on a tractor. “Hey do you need a picker.”
If they are picking don’t ask the pickers. Pickers want to pick all the fruit, a new picker means less fruit for them to pick. If they know what is good for themselves they will always say “nope no pickers needed”
I really should get a tent (though, I expect Walmart to be doing business with Israel in some way, so I would prefer a better option… sorry if I come across as picky), so thank you for the recommendation!
Have you personally worked on a farm or know someone that did? I should probably consider that option because it sounds like one that would not require a resume. Also haha that makes sense: Workers have to look out for themselves, after all.
Walmart can be good bc you can return things that break and get more than the value you spent on them by replacing them several times. Cut into their profits if you have a moral issue
One of the easier stores to steal from too but I’m telling you to find income and get housing so you don’t get pulled into the direction of what being homeless usually leads to (theft, addiction, hanging around thieves and bullies)
I picked fruit for 7 seasons. It really was a god send for me. I’m autistic and was at a weird place in my life. Its a simple job that is pretty hard to fuck up. Living in a tent is simple its just not comfortable but when you are young its not so bad. All you have to do is put the fruit in the bucket and then go to town to get food. It really helped me learn to sort out my shit and take care of myself. If you are careful with your money you can even get by for the whole year on a few months of work.
I only worked on one farm in usa so things might be a bit different where you are. I did mostly Cherries (hands down the best fruit to pick) I did some apples (hard work but if you can handle it you can make decent money) Plums are good. Berries are not my cup of tea because I like to pick everything and they require spot picking (just the ripe stuff)
I don’t drive so I hitch hiked from town to town following the harvest. I don’t know what its like these days but in rural places hitching is usually pretty easy.
The thing is that I am worried about not having many resources in rural areas and stuff. Also, public transportation tends to avoid rural areas.
By the way, I think I should also add that I have some savings in my account (a few thousand dollars), so maybe you could give me advice on how to move onto another phone plan while my phone is still being paid off by my parent?
not having many resources in rural areas
Not sure what you mean by “resources” Towns that rely on the fruit harvest have everything a fruit picker needs to survive. Grocery store for food, hardware store for this and that and cooking fuel.
Also, public transportation
A big part of being homeless is walking lots. In fruit producing areas hitching a ride is pretty easy.
how to move onto another phone plan
I’d probably just get a cheap burner phone with a pay as you go. Keep your smartphone to use library/mc’d’s wifi.
I assumed resources was self-explanatory, but regardless, I meant things that you might not find in rural areas (like mental health services and an technologically up-to-date library). What you mentioned is important, but I also am thinking of other services.
A burner phone with “a pay”? What is a pay?
While the “give them a firm handshake” route is typically a fools errand, for lower tier work in smaller locations the tactic is incredibly useful.
Go in person to diners, hotels, motels, small fast food places, warehouses, and so on and ask to speak to the manager, tell them you’re looking for work, and that you will be the best worker they’ve ever had if they give you a chance. This has a high chance of working and if you’re earnest and respectful you will get bites. You’re resume is absolutely not pathetic and I have helped many people with ZERO work experience acquire jobs paying 15-25 dollars minimum with that tactic. There are jobs if you look.
If you are going to run away get a job BEFORE taking that leap. Preferably housing too. Do not leave things up in the air if at all possible.
20 hours of work a week qualifies you for Medicaid, food stamps, housing assistance, and other social services that will all make your life much easier.
Get a cheap gym membership. You can shower here, store items, and save in utilities. All for 10-20 bucks a month.
Find housing immediately with roommates, avoid places that trigger your bad gut feeling, and steer clear of bedbugs and other pests, but beyond that any housing is better then no housing.
Lastly I don’t know your age, but please graduate high school first as that will either help or hinder you more then anything else in the situation and in the future. No, a GED is not equivalent as while it’s better then nothing, a high school diploma is the far better option.
Note, if you are a minor, the state will attempt the track you down and return you to your parents. This will hamper getting work or social services.
Oh damn, talking to people sounds scary but I will probably have to do so if I want to get a job.
Hmm, the issue is that I live in an area that is essentially between two more populated areas, so there are likely not that many jobs here (nor housing, though I have seen apartments being constructed in the past few years), so I would likely have to go homeless anyways.
I never thought about a gym membership as an idea, but that sounds pretty nice! Not sure if I would work out though.
Roommates? Sounds slightly scary, and what do you mean by places that trigger a bad gut feeling?
I am 20, so no need to worry about the state tracking me down and stuff (I also finished high school). However, due to my parent paying for my internet, they might cut it off if I move out, so I am not sure what to do in that case.
Helpx hosts in Florida - Helpx is meant for travelers to do some work at a place (usually, it’s small businesses like hostels, tutoring centers, and small farms, but also some personal homes hosting guests) in exchange for room and board as a way of making traveling cheaper. It’s a good way to meet people and to get a place to stay for a while. I have personally used it and had good experiences with hosts. Some hosts even took me on for longer than advertised, some contacted me again offering a second stay, others have offered to hire me formally. Some hosts will truly make you work hard like a regular job and some just want you to help out a little and hang out with you.
I agree with the other comments so far on the priority of getting a job and how to get one and how to get housing. Prioritize those things. Right now while you have a place to live and some other resources is the most certainty you will have for a while if you end up leaving. So try and get a job and new housing ASAP while still housed. In my suggestions below I mention a few times about places to meet people. Meeting people and making community connections is also important now because knowing more people you can find out about more helpful organizations and resources as well as jobs and places to live. And potentially form mutual aid organizations.
So, here’s some things I would suggest. I have not been homeless but these things are good if you don’t have a lot of money nor a great/safe living situation and want/need to spend a lot of time out of the place you’re staying. I imagine some could still be helpful while unhoused.
If you are able to, start scouting out around you which places have wifi. Sometimes restaurants will offer it for guests (and you can just access it from outside). Libraries usually have it. In my experience, some laundromats have wifi. You may need to go inside or on their website for the password initially. If you’re lucky you can find a spot where you don’t have to go inside and where multiple businesses next to each other have wifi or have a long range so you can move around a bit and not get spotted for “loitering.”
Libraries are also good to check out. You should see what the libraries near you offer and what their hours are. Some libraries let you check out mobile hotspots. Some let you check out chromebooks that come with data so you can get online anywhere. Even if the libraries in your area don’t have this, they probably at least have a bathroom and places to sit. You should get a library card for each library system in your area now while you still have an address. They may ask for some proof of your address like ID or a piece of mail. Edit to add: While you still have an address, keep a few pieces of mail, especially from official government communications or the bank, because mail is often ask for to prove your address, often 2 pieces of mail with your name and address are asked for by lots of different things you might try to sign up for.
Laundromats are a good place for a few reasons. One is they can be a safe place to sit down indoors for a while. Another is they usually have a sink, which is good if you need a little bit of water for something. It’s also a common place for people to post adverts looking to rent out a room and such.
I don’t know if you are near the coast, but beaches sometimes have shower facilities. Campgrounds too. I’ve been to an RV park that had a shower facility, not sure how common that is. You will have to scout out your local area to see what there is. A spray bottle can help you get clean when you don’t have a shower as an option. For example in a public bathroom stall you can partly undress and spray yourself. This is better than trying to just use a bathroom sink where people might see you. Spray bottle also makes no puddle around you and doesn’t drip or get the clothes you’re still wearing too wet.
Find out where the recycling facilities are near you. It seems that Florida doesn’t have a set deposit for beverage containers but I would think there are still places to which you can sell bottles and cans and other recyclables. If you have a job with chill non-judgemental coworkers you can keep a bag in the breakroom to collect everyone’s bottles to recycle.
Find out the hours of your local food pantry programs if you have any nearby. There may be specific requirements, a waitlist or only certain days of the month you can go, it will vary widely, so look into it while you have time.
Find out if there are any progressive religious organizations in your area. These can be a mixed bag but I have had good experiences with some programs run on church premises that didn’t do any evangelizing and were truly focused on hosting progressive community organizations without discrimination. Mainly, these were good places to meet people and ask people about other organizations they knew about.
Find out which places around you are open 24 hours or until late at night.
If you are out a lot and can’t find good places to sit, get a little folding stool that folds up flat and keep it in your backpack. Look up “folding laundry stool” to see the type I mean. It can help you be comfortable in more places and keep your clothes more clean.
Find out everything about your local public transportation. Look at their website, read any booklets they have. You might find extra services listed in there. For example a bus system around you might offer late night shuttle services you can call after the usual bus schedule. Maybe getting a transportation card takes a small amount off the ride fee. This will vary widely because every local system will be different.
It’s been a long time since I dumpster dove and I am worried about giving you bad advice. So I will just say: it’s possible to get good stuff from dumpsters. But I would recommend waiting till you have a local friend who knows the safe places to do it at.
You might also try to see if there are any gleaning organization in your area and if they can either point you toward where you can find a food pantry, or if they might take you on as a worker: https://nationalgleaningproject.org/gleaning-map/ Note, I have never gotten involved with a gleaning org I just know they exist and have met someone who did that. I imagine they would at the least be a place where you can meet some people. Same goes for community gardens if there are any in your area.
Edit: I forgot to mention, if you know you won’t have an address at some point soon, you should consider getting a P.O. Box so you can receive mail.
+1 to all of this, it is very good practical advice for while you are unhoused
… it is slightly funny that you proceeded to criticize helpx due to potential toxicity and stuff, but I agree to what newbeans has said.
I had already addressed that elsewhere and generally agree with putting yourself out there and trying to find opportunities but still think anyone in a vulnerable position should be wary of getting into such an uneven power dynamic without at least really building trust with the person in a way that you are not reliant on them for one or more of your needs.
Thanks for the concern.
Thank you for the helpx idea! This type of thing might be what I need! It might also be a launchpad for future work that requires more hours a week and stuff (i am not sure if jumping into an 8 to 9-hour job right away is a good idea, even if I could get such a job).
Again, I struggle with social anxiety, but I will have to communicate with others eventually, so I will try.
The library advice is definitely good (always got to have that knowledge fall into my brain), but I do not regularly get mail from any bank or government office because I do not deal with them directly (and it would scare me if I tried to).
How do I get a PO box?
Ok, so immediate priorities are to get a job and some form of shelter (apartments might be viable due to me having some savings at the moment), while a secondary goal is to deal with my social anxiety somehow. Also, sorry that my reply was not nearly as long as your comment: I simply have little else to add.
Re-reading my post I see I unintentionally made Helpx sound flawless but I agree with other comments that you should definitely be cautious going into it, especially since you don’t have a lot of work experience, so you probably still need to gain a stronger idea of your own boundaries and what is acceptable in a workplace (both in general and to you specifically). I should have made that clear. Every host will be different. When you first start you should stay with some shorter term ones so you can see the vast differences between hosts early on, and get used to the idea that you can just leave if the situation is too messed up with a particular host. Keep in mind it is a travel site meant for people to have fun basically, and not actually meant to gain ridiculous amounts of unpaid labor from you even though some hosts will try to make you work a lot - which can be bad or it it can be “fine” depending on what you ultimately want out of the arrangement. Personally I have ended up putting some of my longer-term volunteering stints on there on my resume, and I probably could have gotten one of my hosts to write me a reference letter if I had thought about it. But the work at some of them was quite stressful. While at others it was relaxed and fun. And from a different one of these things like HelpX, I think it was WWOOF, I once met someone who said one of their previous WWOOF experiences felt like a cult and they had to leave. So, be cautious, and start with small stays, and leave if you are uncomfortable.
Signing up for a PO box is pretty easy. It’s going to cost somewhere around $20 a month probably and it looks like they make you start off with a 3-month payment. Read up on it here: https://www.usps.com/manage/po-boxes.htm - Because of the fee, I think you should hold off on getting one until you really know you will need one. When I got one I think I just walked into the post office and said “How can I set up a PO box?” and they helped me. I think they needed my ID and my proof of address (again, this often comes from some official mail of some kind but I don’t remember what I used, my ID might have been enough). Then you pay and they give you a key/combination number and you can come check your box any time because it’s usually in a separate part of the post office that is always open. If you get a big delivery like a box then you ask for it during normal hours at the counter.
I do not regularly get mail from any bank or government office
It’s worth it to see if you can sign up for the library with just your ID. Each library system will have its own slightly different requirements.
As for getting some “official” mail for address proving purposes, you could try applying to something like food stamps or health care or other assistance online, you’ll probably get some kind of letter from them even if you don’t get enrolled, and you can hang on to that letter with your name and address visible and that can likely work for this purpose. Edit: I forgot in your original post you mentioned you were in college at some point, you could also order a transcript to be mailed to you, maybe that would work too.
I get it, I just need to be careful and vet who I could work for. Thanks for the advice, and it is fine to change how you originally portrayed something because people make mistakes. I am glad to hear that I can leave if I feel uncomfortable.
It turns out I do have some mail from my state’s government, so that could work.
I “was” in college, but I took time off and am not sure if I want to go back (it is unlikely).
For social anxiety, see if there is a theater doing improv 101 classes and if so check if they will allow a work trade for free or reduced classes. It’s a very effective way to actively practice getting over social anxiety, loosen up, etc in a mostly judgement free zone. Also a good place to potentially build community and that’s one of the more important long term ways to gain stability
I am not really into improv though. I guess the community aspect is good, but again, I am not interested in that sort of thing.
Yes, many people not into improv go to a 101 class specifically to work out the social anxiety aspect in a controlled setting. There are not a lot of environments available for that which are more or less judgment free. Either way, I’m sure you’ll figure out what works for you
Thanks for the encouragement. I might try talking to people more when I have access to some housing or a job.
Pretty much all you can do is try to find work, rent a cheap room with room mates, and then from the stability that provides figure out a more long term plan to get yourself to the place you want to be.You will probably have to accept jobs and housing that have legitimate problems and are potentially unsafe in some ways in order to be housed and have that financial stability to do something different later. You can get on EBT to buy food and save some money there. If you feel very confident in your survival abilities you can live in a vehicle for awhile to save money on rent while working but that usually only works if you already have the vehicle. I would not recommend getting a vehicle for this purpose as they are expensive and create more problems and you need to minimize your overhead. Beyond that, it really depends on your environment. Maybe there is a local scene of people you can relate to who can help you find a room or a job or something. Maybe there are local non profits who help in one way or another. All of those types of things can be super helpful but none of it will replace the reality that you need to make a certain amount of money to survive
It sucks that the job market is so horrible that applying for thousands of jobs could result in nothing. Do not worry, I am not even capable of driving anyways, so I am not planning to get a vehicle. I am also not sure if I qualify for food stamps (though I might if I become homeless). Damn, this is terrible.
It you are an adult without income you should qualify for food stamps. If you have some income you should still qualify for a lesser amount.
Yes you need to look for jobs that are typically hiring, service industry, landscaping, moving companies, etc. Look on craigslist for your area.
Yes it does suck, and can get worse quick if you aren’t working somewhere stable and able to pay for your own housing. Especially in Florida summers, you’re going to want to be indoors with a/c
Does it technically count as my income if someone else is currently paying for stuff? And yeah, I ought to look into jobs like the ones you mentioned (craigslist feels somewhat shady, though).
Someone else recommended helpx, which combines housing with a job (not sure if I get paid for it though) alongside other benefits, which might be right for me!
Yes income is just money you make regularly. It can be from a job, investment dividends, interest, disability, etc if it is regular money that you get in the form of money it is income. If you are not being given money, it is not income for EBT. Many states don’t even count savings or a house you own and reside in against you.
If you are not legally disabled you will probably be expected to be constantly looking for work and maybe showing that you are looking in some cases, but I have never heard of anyone actually being required to prove they are looking for work so it likely varies regionally.
Re: helpx, I don’t know that one but usually these types of work trade programs are just for housing and at best meals. If you are young and looking for life experiences then it could be a good fit, although be warned that these arrangements can often be very toxic dynamics if not outright predatory. They can also be fun, great job training and ways to meet lifelong friends. Keep your wits about you but be open to new things
you will not be able to escape the need to make your own income and provide for yourself for that long. You can probably get through all of your 20s and into early 30s living cheap, work trading, traveling etc but you need to be able to gather enough skills and experience to transition into a career of some kind that provided the lifestyle you want to live. One is either choosing to live the rest of their life as an ascetic or are working towards a career that will sustain them. Ascetic life can be great if you are down to get zen about it but otherwise it is just rough and uncomfortable and provides little avenues in the modern world
Ooh very interesting, I should definitely apply for food stamps and such then (though not sure if I should do it now).
What do you mean by legally disabled? Does that include mental illnesses? I am glad that I do not have to prove that I am looking for work.
I can definitely see how the dynamics can be toxic, though “often”?
I am not sure what sort of career will “sustain” me (what career can sustain you in the American economy right now?), so maybe that can be saved for the future.
legally disabled
Haven’t done this myself but afaik it does include mental illnesses. I have several friends who have registered as disabled in order to get government disability assistance. It provided them some amount of steady income and access to better care, more affordable housing and other programs but afaik it has much harsher limits on assets and income before you lose benefits. There are a lot of things to consider and do research about on that, and maybe others here have direct experience to offer.
Looking for work
I figure if you just send a bunch of resumes on LinkedIn and get a bunch of automated rejections you can pretty easily show that you are looking and just unable to find it
often
Think about it, it’s a bunch of people who are trying to start their own small businesses and get around paying for labor. Some cases may be really nice people and you can still learn a lot, but if you are a paid employee you have rights that you will not have as a volunteer.
Sustain you
It sounds like you are in a transformative moment, things are changing and that will include your own understanding of your needs and desires are. My point is that you are living your life and whatever you want that to be will require you to make it so. If you want it simple, and keep your overhead low and enjoy living, do that as much as you can and you will find whatever is next and adjust accordingly.
If you want a future of settling down with someone, owning any assets including a vehicle, having kids, getting formal education or training of some kind, living in a bigger city, etc then you will need to change your plans accordingly. There are endless other options, these are just examples of things you hypothetically could do. I know many people who spent decades with no plans at all, train hopping, pitching tents seasonal work and having a great time for some of it and absolutely terrible times for a lot of it too. Prioritize a steady income and housing, and then spend as much time as you want figuring the rest out from that place of stability and autonomy, especially if you have any disabilities that could be exacerbated by being in survival mode 24/7.
Thank you, all your advice is good. I have trouble really doing things because I am lazy, but I will try my best to figure out what to do.
deleted by creator
Mysterious deleted comment! I wonder what they said.
Oh, I thought about this because it is slightly out of place in the main post’s body, so I will post it here: Is moving to a city a good idea if I am thinking of moving out? It likely has many more resources than rural areas would, so I am considering taking a cab to a city I know.
