I’m kinda aware of my perfectionism and I’m trying to do things regardless of it, but I just can’t stop thinking about all my flaws, real or not. Wherever I am I’m constantly thinking about what others may think of me and I know it’s bs and most people don’t give a shit about me but I just can’t help it. It’s like I’m just unable to do anything for myself anymore, no matter what I do I’m always thinking of other people’s opinion and hoping someone would praise me for what I do. I’ve been nothing but constantly criticized by people around me and I no longer know if I do things correctly, because most of the time I get told I’m wrong.

the worst part is that even though I’ve been working on myself for the past two years with therapy and meds I still feel like a complete failure.

this shit never ends

2 hits home for me. I always feel like I don’t deserve to be loved because I hate everything about myself and until I fix it I deserve to be alone.

I just dropped my 600 streak in duolingo because it just made me feel like clicking through a chore instead of putting genuine effort into learning a language. I’m looking into some alternatives now