In that case, she might sound like a person you could discuss this side of yourself and maybe get some help or perspective from. You will lose the romantic outlook, most likely (or at least should, if you honesty want to understand and improve yourself) but then again that’s probably for the best.
You can’t really form a proper relationship with someone so far away that you have never met. You are probably interested in her because at the moment she is your only available avenue. Not because she is the one for you.
So in my opinion, if you trust her and can discuss anything with her, try to discuss your romantic situation with her, ask her to use her to understand yourself, then do the harder step and move to try to form healthy IRL relationships with people, eventually naturally leading to a romantic relationship. Not out of desperation, but out of real interest.
It seems hard because you need to change meaningful things about yourself and your mentality. But I would say it is more scary than hard. You need to get out of your current comfort zone, but you don’t need to do actually hard things.
It will take time. But if you can make it, it will last. I have been in kinda similar situation in the past, but am now miles ahead from where I was standing and very happy.
Eh. If Russia is using them and Ukraine has been refraining so far, it’s probably a you-gotta-do-what-you-gotta-do situation for them.
I guess if they are used defensively on Ukrainian ground, then can keep maps of where they are deployed to disarm them afterwards, since it is to their best interest anyway because the purpose of the treaty would have been to protect Ukrainian civilians in this case anyway. So if Russia is ignoring the treaty, the treaty does not offer much to Ukraine anyway and is more like a handicap. So I guess I get why they went for it…