Ok, we’ve taken this far enough, I think.

I see they did decide on him in a REMOTE meeting (apparently leadership figured out that perhaps hanging out together in the same building wasn’t the smartest call)?

Haha I’d be like: Uh, no thanks guys, I’m good.

Stop asking questions you already know the answers to.

Ok I’m deciding my own death: I don’t want a live a day under 3000 years old.

As though any of this is accidental.

They should’ve just made sexytimes like the HBO Series Heated Rivalry.

Some men with butterfly nets should have come and taken him away to a padded room for his own safety.