German and Spanish. It’s ok, though every time I think I have an alright though basic understanding, someone starts speaking way too quickly and it all just falls apart. Also, speaking is difficult, and reaching for the correct words in the correct language is even harder. Many times I want to answer in German if someone asks me something in Spanish, and vice versa

Blue and white gaffer tape would be even quicker

What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

This one checks all your boxes. Except for maybe the bullying in school? I can’t remember if that was a theme or not. Fantastic read, though.

As a kid, I spoke with my mom all the time. That frequency dropped drastically the older I got, though. She’s got a personality disorder and I tried with her, I swear I tried so fucking hard, but I finally gave up. Now she doesn’t talk to me at all, which is far less a hardship than she imagines it is.

I had a great relationship with my dad, when he was around. He was my respite from my mother, but his relationship with her left its scars on him, too. They almost split up for a while, and I’ve never seen him happier. But now, for some unfathomable reason, they’re back together, he’s back to drinking, and he’s sided with my mom and is also not speaking with me. Unlike with her, I’m actually sad to not have him around, but trying to reason with alcoholic logic isn’t helpful (or a good time) for anyone.

So yeah, I think there’s far more to being close with your parents than simply the frequency of conversations, though maybe that plays a role.

Adoption is a great option, but ONLY if you really want a kid.

Remember, adoption is traumatic, and kids aren’t returnable.

Absolutely this, but ONLY if you’re absolutely certain you want a kid.

Remember, adoption is traumatic and kids aren’t returnable.

The article says he lost it around Christmas in 2014 while working at the factory. So, 11 years

There’s some great podcasts out there that really focus on the science. Science VS comes to mind, as does Factually

I can tell you that what works for me is to be polite but distant. I’ll say “good morning!” to my coworkers and “have a good night!” At the end of the shift. I’ll be helpful when needed, and I’ll do my best to work well with others.

However, I’ll keep an “out” handy for when people get gossipy or nosy. I’ll bring a book along to read during breaks and at lunch, or I’ll keep something work-related in my hands when I’m around a group of coworkers, as an indicator to the group that I’m not wanting to chat.

I’ve also gotten good at turning conversation back around on really chatty, insistent people. “No, I don’t have a favorite color. What’s yours?” “Yes, I do think that patient looks like Elvis, are you a fan of his?” “No, I don’t have a dog. Do you?” Basically, be really boring with your answers, but let them keep talking about themselves, as they’re likely tire themselves out eventually. Works if you can stand it, and if you can do your job with a coworker talking at you for an hour. Last resort, and all that.

Of the examples you’ve given as responses, I think the only one that doesn’t make you come across as dickish is the one stating that you don’t want to talk about religion or politics, and even then, you sound like an asshole when you state this.

Instead of “‘I’ve worked here for a year already. It should be clear by now that I’m not a talkative person. This is a question I don’t want to answer. And I hope that you respect that.’”, you could say something like “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this”. It’s shorter and way less aggressive, and people are more likely to listen to you when you’re not all up in their face over a question, you know?

“‘that I don’t talk doesn’t mean I hate you, it means I have nothing to say’” For the record, I also think it’s ludicrous that you feel you have to say this. Maybe you could word it a little differently though, something like “I don’t mean for you to take it personally, I’m just a private person, and prefer to keep my home life at home”

“‘I don’t see what that has to do with the job’” could be “Not to be a buzzkill, but mind if we keep this conversation on work?”