One of my all-time favorite works is “It Has Come to Pass” by Sergei Lukin. Imagine contemplating the opulence of the palace, knowing how the peasantry lived outside. Knowing that the revolution had triumphed and that it was time to build a future for everyone.

Some honorable mentions:

There’s a user named Fan Wennan who does concept art. It’s truly amazing:

“China: 2098”

Edit: some places where you can find socialist/communist/propaganda art:

• vietnampropaganda.com
• sovietposters.com
• soviet-art.ru
• chineseposters.net
• East German Visuals
• Regime Esthetics

Several come to mind, like the Soviet film Come and See, or some of Abbas Kiarostami’s films, but I’ll always recommend Amores Perros (2000) first. In the latter, the protagonist, Mexican actor Gael García Bernal, also plays Che Guevara in The Motorcycle Diaries (2004), a film that recounts Che’s motorcycle journey through Latin America, a journey that radicalized him and led him to study Marxism.

While it’s not an answer to your question, I recommend Hepsima’s videos. He’s a Finnish guy who speaks in Mandarin with people from China. His videos motivate me to learn Mandarin, and maybe when I reach a more advanced level, I’ll also speak with people from China like him to practice.

You mentioned you’re studying something you don’t like, so what do you like? I think exploring this is extremely important. If there’s something you’d really like to do and have the potential to pursue professionally, you could eventually help your mom with some expenses. Unfortunately, depression and anxiety can ruin any motivation you have.

Sending you a hug.