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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: March 29th, 2024

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  • My parents were trying to guilt me the last few years that it will be my responsibility to look after them when the time comes that they need a caregiver.

    I told them they could live with me if they are independent, but if they need professional care, then we would move them where they need to be for that, like a retirement home.

    My parents were both offended by this clearly, but I saw what happened when my parents tried to be the caregiver to my grandfather when he got very old and it nearly tore our family apart basically having to have shifts to go and take care of him all so he could sit in a chair in his house. It sacraficed years of our lives and I delayed going to college for several years because of it. Family members are not professional caregivers and trying to be results in bad care and delays the inevitable of needing to go to a home.

    Despite explaining all of this to them and them knowing how hard it was taking care of an elderly parent, they still feel like I have to do it. I asked them, “Did you only have kids to make sure someone will look after you when you are old,” and they get all flustered by that and never give a straight answer.

    They have given up on me now and are currently guilting my siblings to look after them some day.





  • When I was a younger I asked my dad this same question and I will never forget how frazzled he was by it. He told me some b.s. answer like, “Oh, I don’t know. You don’t really need to do that.”

    He made me feel humiliated for asking. At a certain point I could not ignore it anymore though, so when I experimented and tried to figure it out myself, I did cut myself and there was blood everywhere. I was terrified and thought I was going to bleed out. Luckily it wasn’t really that bad and I managed it on my own, but I remember how scared I was.

    After going through all that, I told myself that I would help my future son if he ever asked me a question like that. You are a better dad than mine was in this situation. It’s your job to help them with whatever they need, and it would have meant a lot to me back then if my dad had helped me the way you did. I can guarantee your son appreciated it and will remember how you looked out for him.