• 2 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: December 9th, 2023

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  • I agree completely

    I’d love to find somewhere to live that isn’t the US, but I have but one skill and ADHD is not on the desired applicants field for most emigration forms.

    …and also I am quite serious when I say that I will die before I am ever able to get through the paperwork of immigrating to another country even if I do possess skills that are considered valuable or there is the asylum potential for me to flee, people laugh or don’t take me seriously when I say things like that but if you have the kind of ADHD I do or similar you know I am simply being soberly serious, I will die before I ever get through that much paperwork. It is as simple as that, hopefullly I survive I am not being nihilist I just sure as hell know those aren’t lifeboats I can use.

    “You will do what you have to survive if you have to” - people will often reflexively say in response to me to shut down conversation about survival as if I wasn’t already doing that and the conversation wasn’t specifically about survival becoming an order of magnitude harder for me… No I won’t that is my point, believe me when I say it, I WON’T BECAUSE I CAN’T. Help me now or face the fact that this is in some way a goodbye. You are not obligated to help me, though I will not stand you being in denial about refusing to help me even as you do so with your deflections of my existential cry to details and hopeful plans that mean nothing to me because their timelines far exceed my plausible lifeplan.

    It is also frustrating how when I talk about this people so often act like I am being extreme, or reactionary or talking in existential terms that are unhelpful, and it hurts when they say it because I am not. I have lost friendships very important to be me because of the pain this causes me when friends have responded these ways repeatedly with a loving but unlistening intention. If I was where most people’s kneejerk reaction thought I was when I say these things I wouldn’t be here talking to you, people don’t want to come to terms with the fact that they are in a war already and I am tired of it. I realize I am, I am still here, for now, save your concern for the war not for me and for fucks sake stop being in denial about being in a war ughh.

    (I didn’t mean “you” as in response to you as a reply, I meant general “you” as in I am talking to the not so hypothetical types of people that have and will respond to me endlessly until I pass from this earth lol)





  • I have severe ADHD, the centrists around me will voluntarily crush me if told to do so long before things approach that point all the while believing in their hearts they are doing the right thing :)

    That is why I put my words in a public place that is hosted not in US, I know I am fucked and I won’t shut up about it because I know what this means for others already having had their futures foreclosed.

    Nah I like shooting guns, it is fun! I don’t desire to own one however because I am acutely aware of how sad of a person I am. My ADHD makes daily life a living hell, me owning a poorly thought out but final way out of that? No thanks, I will survive longer without a gun I know that much.



  • Yes.

    You don’t understand how dead and foreclosed corporate social media appears to me if that surprises.

    I don’t like feeling like I am a tree being fed into a woodchipper.

    I never fit in on corporate social media and after facebook I never found another corporate digital community that structurally felt like home (not just the vibe like Bluesky or Threads which are such false promises it physically hurts).

    However the corporate social media platform that has isolated me the most and hurt my vim for life most deeply is Discord and it isn’t even close.

    I consider myself literally in a battle of life and death fighting the tide of Discord because I am not welcome there, my infodumps and tangents categorically are rejected by the format, the kinds of conversations I want to have are always drowned out and chat topics are so overly specific and narrow there is nothing to discover in the first place.

    Edit I watch a lot of Youtube so I guess I can’t say yes but I have a peertube creator account and I am in it for the long haul so shrugs it is what it is.








  • Edit Skip all of this and just think about the fact that plenty of normal women love the Twilight series… and yet the way women are treated in the book is… om… well I mean the point is it is a FANTASY and to judge it as something else is to fundamentally, seriously misunderstand it. Don’t hurt yourself by refusing to see the nuance to the way you feel you are driven to irrational desires, see the subversion, agency and love that comes from engaging with the parts of yourself that never want to exist as a reality.

    Look, the reason you call it is a “kink” is because it is something you find oddly attractive and yet also don’t actually literally want (as in the person actually really meant it to hurt you and didn’t say it as part of an intense roleplay).

    We normally call these things “fantasies” in the rest of life when we strip the idea of sexuality and the thing about a fantasy is that it is contained within a bubble of your imagination and consent.

    If don’t want your future wife or girlfriend to humilate you, yeah of course… but if she is doing it in a way that she knows turns you on and it is under an umbrella of consent… that is none of the business of the judgemental sides to ourselves no matter how easy it is to make a deragotory joke about it being disgusting or depraved, because it is just sex that isn’t our business at that point.

    Remember, the number 1. rule about consentual sex between adults is.

    1. It is none of your damn business what we do it and how we do it