The only time I saw my kids afraid of me, I was glad of it, it was the younger two, they had been fighting with each other and called me at work to complain about each other and I told them I was coming home, by the time I got there they had decluttered the room and were sitting at the table across from each other, calmly.

I’m not sure what they thought was going to happen. But it made them stop fighting and work together.

In general they are not, certainly they tell me anything (stuff I would never have discussed with my mom) so I know they trust me, and I don’t just love them I like them, and they seem to like me. It’s sad when parents think respect comes from fear, it most certainly does not.

Anxiety does lie. I’m not saying your mom wouldn’t hurt you, but you can’t trust an anxious mind, it can distort things. The fear comes first then looks for a cause to pin it on.