Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?

  • credo@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    1 day ago

    I was at the urinal the other day and sneezed; someone said bless you from a stall.

    It was awkward. Breaking one social norm to uphold another.

    • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      1 day ago

      You can restore the social contract by putting your hand under the stall for a firm handshake. If he consents, you get a firm handshake and relief that the social contract is restored. If he refuses, then you have to deal with the shame and heartache.

      • metallic_substance@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        23 hours ago

        If he doesn’t take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you’re applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding “the one” and starting a family like you’ve always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man’s boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won’t deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say “was it really that hard?” When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you’re in too deep. You’re making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don’t have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be “on” all the time and you haven’t been sleeping well, but you’ve discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.