I would feel bad about punching an eighty year old who can’t stay awake for a full day. But Stephen Miller and his Unitary Executive Theory are the single most evil strain of thought in American politics (the country or the continent, take your pick), and I could still feel like it was a fight and not elder abuse.
Why? He’s a rapist, a fraudster, a traitor, a slumlord, racist, corrupt, violent. He doesn’t have a single redeeming quality I can think of unless I stretch to say at least he killed American imperialism with DOGE
The “human” in me, whatever ages-long culmination of society and culture working tirelessly to reign in unthinking instinct and superstition, wants to agree with you. On the other hand “Ogg want not stop smashing 'til bad man stop gurgling.” Yeah, he’s decrepit and addled but he isn’t Lennie hugging the bunny rabbits a bit too hard. He knows the monster that he is, completely unabashed, and I’m not sure any punishment could be too much to attone for the crimes he’s undeniably guilty of. Nevermind the atrocities for which he is accused but which will also never be properly investigated.
Fully acknowledging we could make it a Line of Succession endurance match and we’d just be pummeling puppets for a moment’s catharsis. Taking frustrations out on living effigies, political avatars of our actual owners. Not that it wouldn’t be fun fast-tracking whiskeyleaks’ face into its future Kenneth Copeland form.
My first act as president is spitefully eating giant, delicious, fluffy, syrup-soaked Belgian waffles to my death. With the simultaneous, apparent, demise of the waffle who dealt the killing blow, there is no defender ergo no challenger. Vice president Butterworth signs orders abolishing the bloodsport and God Emperor Commander President Waffles is declared the nation’s leader in perpetuity.
And somehow it all seems way more rational than the last… fuck me, it’s only been 16 months? Fuck.
Nah, if the sitting president dies, the next president is decided between all interested governors via Hunger Games or a tournament, whichever gets more ad revenue (with the Congress and a figurehead interim president running the country in the meantime).
People have already challenged Trump to all sorts of things, so I think he should have to cowardly refuse them in order. I seem to recall that Jimmy Kimmel offered to have Trump and Jasmine Crockett to both take an IQ test and see who wins.
Hell, I’ll challenge Trump right here to a spelling competition.
Fair Wait according to maga Trump is the ubermensch so he’d accept a challenge right? He wouldn’t be a coward? He’s not sweepy eepy Donny?
I would feel bad about punching an eighty year old who can’t stay awake for a full day. But Stephen Miller and his Unitary Executive Theory are the single most evil strain of thought in American politics (the country or the continent, take your pick), and I could still feel like it was a fight and not elder abuse.
Why? He’s a rapist, a fraudster, a traitor, a slumlord, racist, corrupt, violent. He doesn’t have a single redeeming quality I can think of unless I stretch to say at least he killed American imperialism with DOGE
If given the opportunity I’d argue it is my moral duty to punch that 80 year old as hard as possible
I could punch Trump.
The “human” in me, whatever ages-long culmination of society and culture working tirelessly to reign in unthinking instinct and superstition, wants to agree with you. On the other hand “Ogg want not stop smashing 'til bad man stop gurgling.” Yeah, he’s decrepit and addled but he isn’t Lennie hugging the bunny rabbits a bit too hard. He knows the monster that he is, completely unabashed, and I’m not sure any punishment could be too much to attone for the crimes he’s undeniably guilty of. Nevermind the atrocities for which he is accused but which will also never be properly investigated.
Fully acknowledging we could make it a Line of Succession endurance match and we’d just be pummeling puppets for a moment’s catharsis. Taking frustrations out on living effigies, political avatars of our actual owners. Not that it wouldn’t be fun fast-tracking whiskeyleaks’ face into its future Kenneth Copeland form.
Or how about this:
You defeated the president? Congratulations, you’re the new president.
(Until you too get defeated sooner or later.)
My first act as president is spitefully eating giant, delicious, fluffy, syrup-soaked Belgian waffles to my death. With the simultaneous, apparent, demise of the waffle who dealt the killing blow, there is no defender ergo no challenger. Vice president Butterworth signs orders abolishing the bloodsport and God Emperor Commander President Waffles is declared the nation’s leader in perpetuity.
And somehow it all seems way more rational than the last… fuck me, it’s only been 16 months? Fuck.
Nah, if the sitting president dies, the next president is decided between all interested governors via Hunger Games or a tournament, whichever gets more ad revenue (with the Congress and a figurehead interim president running the country in the meantime).
So… going back to want the Visigoths did it is.
Oh look, a fancy title for a dictator.
Fucking excuse me? You’d feel bad about punching Donald Fucking Trump? Are you serious?
Jesus Christ, calm yourself. I thought this formulation would be funnier. Not everything on the internet has to be unbridled rage wall-to-wall.
People have already challenged Trump to all sorts of things, so I think he should have to cowardly refuse them in order. I seem to recall that Jimmy Kimmel offered to have Trump and Jasmine Crockett to both take an IQ test and see who wins.
Hell, I’ll challenge Trump right here to a spelling competition.
Omg, did you know that the word dumb has a ‘b’ in it!? It’s like watching Reading Rainbow again! /s
And us is spelled U S. What a fucking imbecile he is.