I don’t mean like diarrhea, or any medical issue. Last night I had Chinese food. This morning when I woke up, I took a poop first thing in the morning. Just like normal.

Except it just kept going on and on and on. Instead of 2-3 minute poop, wipe and done, this just went on for like 15-20 minutes. It was never ending. Finally, it stopped, and I rested on the toilet seat, just to make sure there wasn’t a round 2. But eventually I didn’t feel anything more, and figured there can’t be a round 2. There’s nothing left in there. So I wiped, flushed and started my day.

About an hour later, I had to poop again. I had not eaten anything since I woke up. I drank a glass of water if that.

I took a second poop, which was about half the size of the first poop. Which is still like twice as much as a standard poop. I was kind of glad this one got delayed. I realized if all this had come out with the first poop, there would be a genuine concern that I may not be able to flush the toilet. It’s too much.

I started thinking about the fact that Elvis died, and had 27 pounds worth of fecal matter in his system, because he was so backed up. Normally my poops are very small.

So it got me wondering. Am I backed up usually, and Chinese food does something to clean my system out? Or is the Chinese food CREATING this much poop all in one go?

Because if it’s clearing out backed up poop, that’s great! And also, something I should look into with a doctor. If the Chinese food is creating this much poop, then I should just stop eating Chinese food.