Reads more like a schizpost

Incredible to think if that guy had just waited, he could’ve been an FBI agent.

The Lactrooms

“look at all those bugs just sitting there! I’m going in”

Hi, yes, my eyes would like to press charges

That’s odd, that’s how I sleeping knowing I have objectively incorrect opinions on everything

How dare you assume my sensibilities

At a certain point it’s just one continuous breach right?

Does powdered milk come from powdered cows?

Shitting myself makes me feel alive

I read this in the voice of Eminem

Oh bother

The ponut is what fills the pohole

Awwuurrrrr!

Back to school sales getting out of hand

Progress go brrrr

I said this sounds “bad for me”, “bad. for. me.”

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Needs boba