You forgot to factor in the hollow earth Mole Women. Or are they not considered ‘people’ now?

We need more humanitarians on the ground like you, selflessly distributing punctuation in war-torn regions.

I’m not disagreeing with you but try using a period now and again they don’t cost any money

It’s one point something kliks.

I think that T9 was faster and more accurate than swipe typing on a touch screen, that could just be me, though.

I got tagged and fined by one of these last week.

Shake it once, you’re fine.

Shake it twice you’re ok.

Shake it three times…

I don’t have a child, but, were I cursed with one, I would abandon them in the Z drawer of the card file and let them sort life out, just like my sperm donor did to me.

Dewey Decimal or death.

I think the insulting part of mansplaining is the assumptive nature of it.

This can all be avoided by a soft check before explaining something, rather than assuming a boy/girl/chimp wouldn’t know the first thing about welding/cooking/crochet/throwing feces.

Whenever I have the urge to info dump about a topic I’ll probe with a, ‘You may very well know more about this than I, please let me know before it becomes tiresome.’ 10 out of 10 it works, and usually both of us learn something.

I’m really nerding out on synthesisers right now, and 99 percent sure she doesn’t know what after-touch means, or why I’m excited that I picked up a late 90s synth with a good keybed and full midi.

My lady friend doesn’t own anything that looks like a keyboard, so I’ll apologize for the over explanation, then proceed to explain why I’m so stoked.

Essentially, I got, ‘I’m glad that makes you happy!’ Which I know means shit up and move on.

If she wants to know more about modular synthesis or rompers, I’m sure she would ask. I wouldn’t force an explanation on anybody.

You can just jam a potato over the barrel for pennies.

The avatars smoked so we could walk.

There was this dumb ‘headset’ that retro enthusiasts loved that was just a big old Mah Bell phone receiver that plugged into your '00s era dumb phone.

Combine that with a High Quality landline phone ringtone and you’d be the coolest dork at the nerd party for approximately 5 minutes.

Look out! It’s going to fire it’s laser!

:A bunch of feral cats materialize and chase a red dot around your chest:

That’s how I made collect calls back in the 90s: I was also a parrot, back then. Your experience may have differed.

I Love Capitalization.

It honestly creeps me out that so many people don’t curate what they watch and just consume whatever ‘their feed’ puts in front of them.

Unexpected European Vacation quote.

They also embraced QR codes a decade or more before the West did.

Game over man, game over!

They want both of these things.