• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    “Mr. President, sir, if we plan to bomb this new country, we’re going to need to 10x the Pentagon budget asap! Otherwise, we’ll run out of death machines.”

    “I can’t get that through Congress.”

    “How about 5x? 2x? 50%?”

    “I think we can add another $100B to the Pentagon’s budget for this holocaust.”

    turning to line of lobbyists behind him “Warm up the hot tub at Little Saint James, boys! The President just greenlit Lockhead’s next round of bonuses!”

    • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Siphon off the 10B from BoArD oF pEaCe and they’ll only need another 90. Easy enough, you could find that between the couch cushions. I’d avoid the one in the VP’s office though.

        • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          Nobody’s going to pay for his sofa slop if they know from whom it came.

          Gives me an idea for a heist thriller action thing though: get a small team together to burgle the baby batter bank where their organization’s target had made a deposit. The jacked jizz jar is then used to frame their target for some heinous crimes and more plot happens.

          Team leader could either be a career criminal doing their One Last Job™ or undercover type sent in to foil the plan. Conflict kicks off after the ejaculatory evidence is planted: one of their teammates was actually working against them and swapped it out for a sample from the team leader.

          Next Summer:

          Wet Work
          Come Running