I spent several years at home in social isolation before I got my first job. I photograph people for documents (and do a few other things), and it can be unbearable. Some people genuinely have no idea what they look like, they’re often upset by their photos, and sometimes it turns into aggression towards me. One man was surprised by the asymmetrical shape of his chin and started shouting, “Do you really think I look like that?!” And what can I say to that? “You really do”? I just get nervous and try to find the words while he continues to talk rudely to me, as if I’d deliberately set the camera to distort his chin.
Then a woman brings her teenage daughter in for a passport photo, and they start arguing and yelling at each other about whether it’s better for her to have her hair down or not, and the girl doesn’t like any of the photos and can’t even explain what’s wrong, so we have to take several more, and they get increasingly irritated and start accusing me of that her cheeks too big and I should have told her to suck them in or position the camera somehow so her cheeks weren’t visible, or some other nonsense, like I’m a fucking wizard. I have a hard time dealing with situations like that, I often start mumbling and shaking, but it only seems to irritate them more, and they speak to me even more rudely, and then they just throw money on my table in annoyance and leave, and I sit there and try to compose myself for another half hour. I’ve been brought to tears several times already.
Some of them are insanely arrogant and rude people.
One woman sent me a link to some documents to print, but the link had expired, I showed it to her and asked for a new link, she said her son had sent the link and that it worked on her phone, I showed her again that the link wasn’t working and that it had probably just expired, but she kept insisting that it worked on her phone. I told her I couldn’t print anything for her, and she said, “what if I call your employer?” lmao. I had to take her fucking phone and call her son to send me a new fucking link. And there were a lot of similar moments.
It’s not uncommon for them to claim that I said something I didn’t say or didn’t do what they asked, and so on. I’ve cried so many times because of this job, and I think I’m starting to hate and fear people more and more, but I’m not sure I can find a better job where I live.
Sounds like a customer facing job isn’t for you and you might want to look at more adminstrative roles.
But yea, people are terrible like that. I would agree with them and say the camera is unflattering but it’s the one we need to use. Yea but sucks but until the gov says we can use another camera there is nothing we can do.
Unfortunately, yes, this is common for customer-facing or customer service jobs.
People have outlandish expectations, and for some reason their motivations are that they’re so lazy that “I’ll take my money elsewhere!” is gone and the ego-soothing dominance display of “I’m gonna Karen this shit up!” is now the standard because people have already gone somewhere and so they can’t comprehend going somewhere else.
People have fragile egos, and then when forced to look at themselves, they expect your work to be every IG filter they’ve ever used to fix their faces, but 10X better since they’re paying $2 for it. But they want it for free anyway. People are generally irrational, bad with money, look to blame anyone else for everything else rather than bear responsibility for something as personal as how their faces look, are unable to understand the world around them or how things work, and more than ever are combative for no reason. Even trying to be genuinely nice with some people results in unnecessary antagonistic behavior.
I recommend you realize that just because a couple assholes come in each day, they don’t own your day and shouldn’t be given permission to ruin your day. Their days are likely shit 24/7, so if you can emotionally separate their negativity and stupidity from your life, it’s healthier. Be yourself and do what you can within reason.
they expect your work to be every IG filter they’ve ever used to fix their faces
Exactly what I was thinking reading the first couple of stories. I think people just straight up aren’t used to accurate depictions of their own face. Even the horizontal flip is jarring to most people. No one is symmetrical, and we’re used to mirrors and taking selfies with a front facing camera that horizontally flips the preview.
It’s actually deeply strange to consider what we see in the mirror isn’t what other people see because it’s flipped. How you fix your hair that you like is what no one else sees.
There was a Radiolab episode about this years ago. https://hairparttheory.com/2011/04/22/radiolab-show/
Go find 3 or 4 iconic portraits (Abraham Lincoln was the example given) and flip them. It’s like a whole different person. But that’s how HE saw himself every day.
People are generally irrational, bad with money, look to blame anyone else for everything else rather than bear responsibility for something as personal as how their faces look, are unable to understand the world around them or how things work, and more than ever are combative for no reason.
You so nailed this interpretation.
Make sure the photos are in a mirror orientation. People are not used to seeing pictures of themselves from an outside perspective. It looks “off” because everything is on the wrong side. If you only ever see yourself in the mirror, seeing a photo where my part is on the other side, my smirk is pointed the other direction or in leaning to the right when i expected to be to the left like i see that lose in the mirror me. Making everything feel, “off”. At least that could be a small factor.
The problem is 100% crappy people. However, there are things you can do photographically to “help”. If you’re willing to spend the time to learn the “art” of photography, there are tricks to enhancing some aspects while playing down others.
For example, wide-angle lenses will distort faces in unappealing ways. For 35mm cameras, 70mm is the recommended lens for portraits for that reason. There are secrets to posing, lighting and dress that help make more flattering pictures.
Tailors have to (used to?) deal with similar problems with people. There are tricks to make a suit more flattering for a person, but there are no perfect solutions.
If you want to keep taking pictures professionally, you’ll probably want to learn how to dress, pose and light people for the most flattering effect. You’ll also want to take social training to learn how to use spoken and body language to help sway/calm/reassure people. You might also find an assistant who is really good socially do to the posing. That will let you stay behind the camera and focus on the technical aspects, if that is the part that appeals to you.
It’s them, never you. Smile politely, keep it professional, don’t engage in small talk. Do not agree or disagree. Take the picture and bill them. Have a nice day now get out of my store. People suck in my opinion. Look for an online job where you can make faces at people while you talk to them.
Jfc. Just flip their image so it looks like a mirror reflection.
Explain that.
This isn’t difficult.
Oh! And offer that. Let them purchase and print mirrored images. Everyone else will think they look weird. 🤣
Yeah, customer facing jobs suck. I worked a pair of that type of job for a few years, and thought I enjoyed that kind of customer facing work. Then I got into a more technical, more “back of house” job where I only need to interface with people who know what they’re talking about (okay, maybe only 80% fit that, but def an improvement on the 20% from before). That definitely helped with some nerves related issues I didn’t even realize I was having back then.
I don’t know what key skills you have that could be translated to another line of work, but it sounds like trying to get away from the customer service desk is what you should angle for.
assholes treat meekness or nice as a justification to treat you poorly
double if you are female or seen as smaller/weaker than them
if this is not a self employed job your management needs to shut this shit down, if it is you need to
sadly it’ll mean losing some business but for the sake of your mental health set boundaries and boot shit customers
if your job won’t, quit, it is not worth it
did 7 years as a successful (awards/promotions/etc) phone support and you can develop skills to keep fuckers like this from daring to say a thing but who wants to live like that daily, it caused me weight gain and unneeded stress
Having done mostly customer facing positions for two decades:
The good news is, it’s not you. Customers are hell. Most assume you have all the resources in the world to help them and are choosing not to when you usually have only the most basic tools.
Hell, I’ve done jobs where the objective was to go to a location (think events, festivals) and hand out free (yes, gratis) food, drink, samples, and people will STILL complain, catch an attitude, and over-all act entitled.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. In my experience, it doesn’t get easier, but you get stronger, if that makes sense.
Dealing with shitty people well is a skill most of us do not have.
First impressions are super important. You can practice over and over with each person. Try to increase your external self awareness. The way you initially present yourself is key. Everyone is a fraud and liar under the surface. It is only a matter of what layer. By providing a service for money, you infer a certain caste that promotes abusive prejudice due to the servile nature of the exchange. If you try, with self awareness you will likely find ways to alter the rules and level the playing field or even take control over them.
You need a few sharp responses to silence fools. Like, “I do fantastic work in Photoshop with just a few hours of premium labor.” That will murder 99% of the fuckwits.
“I do fantastic work in Photoshop with just a few hours of premium labor.
At risk of sounding like a fuckwit, what is the communication intent here? That their faces will require a great deal of tampering to look good, or that your work is good and is above their criticisms, or…?
A polished final product costs a lot more time and money.
Wow, is this like deep south church going country? Because it sounds like the after church crowd at Applebee’s xD
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Air drop in a bunch of LSD and it’ll solve itself in no time.
I know a lot of people like this. Shiny on the outside, pure evil and hateful inside. Almost always hyper religious.
Meanwhile the person they loathe most has tatoos and peircings and actual empathy, which the religious can’t stand in the least.
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You can just call them untermensch, we know what you mean
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And so you self-justify dehumanizing an entire region and subculture, not at all like those savage Israelis or conservatives, who see only their ingroups and outgroups.
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[off topic]
Get this book. “Discover What You Are Best At” by Linda Gail.
It’s a series of self tests that you can knock off in an afternoon, combined with an index of jobs that use those skills. For example, a nurse, a hair dresser, and a product demonstrator all need good social skills and good dexterity. Three totally different jobs with the same skill set.
One trick that worked for me was to treat each encounter with an asshole as a game. They win if they can make you visibly upset. You win by smiling, being courteous in the face of abuse, and being professional because that really makes them mad.
I can’t imagine why anyone would want to have these kind of things take longer. I don’t care how good I look in the photo I just want to get the passport thing done.
People often don’t like their own photos because they are used to seeing themselves in the mirror. They see themselves mirrored to how they are used to in photos.
You beat me to it. Yes, compared to what people are used to, the face is ‘flipped’ in photos, which is why the selfie camera on your phone also flips the image to behave like a mirror. Most photos are from far enough away that it minimises the uncanniness of the flip, but ID photos are up close. Another thing that can be offputting is that the image is static, when people are used to seeing their faces moving. The harsh lighting for ID photos can also highlight features that people aren’t used to focusing on.
