What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
What is the charge?!
EatingBoofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?Get your hands off my
penisanus!
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
Literally 1984
Yes that’s how many I’ve gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I’m not a freak).
First they came for the spring rolls…
Then I came for the spring rolls
Actually, they first came for anal beads, chess scandal :3
They also came for frozen potatoes
NOOOOOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You’re saying I should make anal beads from spring rolls?
Way ahead of you.
And I said “Hey, I was stuffing those up my ass!! Get your own!”
And I stayed silent because I wasn’t a spring roll
Why? Why shouldn’t I put a spring roll up me bum?
Funniest meme of the day.
the ring isn’t flared at the base that’s why
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
No; i have an eating disorder.
My spring rolls, my choice.
Why so strict? Let loose a little, give the choice to put juicy Asian rolls up you butt to someone else …
💢**MY FUCKING SPRING ROLLS, MY FUCKING CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!**💢
(Much amgery stomping noises ~fading off into the distance~)
[DOOR SLAMS VIOLENTLY, KNOCKING SEVERAL DECORATIVE DISHES FROM THEIR DISPLAY STANDS. END OF SCENE.]
[the audience gets served fresh spring rolls]
[APPLAUSE]
You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Nah, it’s fine. It’s digestible so you’ll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.
Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Forbidden suppository
Too late, please advise.
Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.
Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
I mean… I’m trying to be snarky, but I’m finding it hard to argue that it’s bad advice.
Other people in the restaurant?
Me asking the delivery person to “feed” them to me?
One too many springs in my bum causes me to bounce?
Only thing I can think of is a deep fried spring roll can be pretty sharp at the edges and can tear the delicate skin there.
Are egg rolls still fair game though?
Why wouldn’t they be?
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn’t be boofing fenceposts either, but I’ll wait until there’s a consensus on that, I think.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that’s ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that’s still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you’re worrying about whether your boyfriend’s penis has a flared base and you can’t find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you’re in the clear.
If you’re worried that this advice doesn’t apply simply because you don’t have a boyfriend, there’s an app for that.
i thought it was that the only thing you should put in your ear was your anus so you could hear the brass section
edit: also get pink ear, can’t forget about that
