First picture is how my 20s looked.
Second picture is how my 40s looked.
I feel for the new generation.
Some were born in recession, grew up in covid lockdowns, studying with AI slop, and the the job market is shit. And some losers are trying to create unending wars.
The world is now on hard mode by default.
Came here to say this.
No matter where you live, the people coming into adulthood now don’t get to experience the world we did, and they know it. And what’s worse is the unlikelihood that any of them will ever get elected federally in order to try and actually change it.
“You’ve got to start local, so we can suppress it one at a time.”
Don’t feel too bad. I am old, but I made just about every incorrect decision you can and had a rather dull youth because of it.
I grew up rural (not my fault, but still sucked) in a place I did not fit in. Wrong color. I went to college, but skipped living in a dorm and went straight to apartment. Met nobody, made zero friends in two years. Did meet wife, so that’s good.
Moved to different city, went to commuter college, lived off campus. In final year, started making friends, then moved away. Moved cross country, lived in small town of mostly retired people. Worked in different town. No friends for two more years. Moved to LA. Made some friends, moved again.
Moved to Pennsylvania in suburbs. Bleh.
Lesson is, live around others, don’t move so much. Stay put goddammit and don’t treat friendship as disposable because you know you will move again.
Living many places was kind of fun, but now I’m old and have few friends. The ones I do have all live far away, so I see them maybe every five to ten years.
Pick a place that is good, don’t bail when it’s not perfect and dig in. Maintain friendships.
The world is now on hard mode by default.
That sucks!
I’ll just leave this here
You had a nice house and TV in your 20s.
Parent’s house
Still counts
A buddy and me were the first in our circle to get an apartment after college, so we became the meeting place. It wasn’t a party house, we drank beer, and smoked weed, but it was calm and quiet, and the old folks below us never complained. They were frequent visitors, as a matter of fact.
People would start showing up around 8. My buddy and I managed different record stores, and we were into all sorts of music, and we had ALL the latest promo recordings, so usually we had a ball game on the TV with no sound (for our buddy Mark, who loved sports), while we listened to music, smoked, and talked. There were usually a dozen people, guys and girls, all ages, right up to old folks downstairs, sometimes. He’d had a stroke, and he could understand everything, but couldn’t converse, beyond random curse words, which he would deliver with either exasperation or disbelief, which we all thought was hilarious, and so did he and his wife.
At 11:30, we’d watch Johnny Carson’s monologue on the TV, and at midnight wed switch it over to two episodes of Twilight Zone. After that, everybody went home.
That was our ritual about 3-4 nights a week for a couple of years, until everybody started to scatter as they found jobs in different places. We’d go out now and then, but only because we weren’t going to meet any new girls hanging around our apartment. Going out often meant moving the party to someone else’s place for the night.
We couldn’t afford to go out to party much, but we always had a better time at home with our friends, especially since there were no threats of judgemental parents, RAs, etc. Our first real taste of true adult freedom was sweet enough to keep us happy.
plot twist: the “old” folks downstairs were 35.
Wait a minute, you had furniture AND a television that was fairly up to date? What sort of bougie person is this?
The sort of person with recently dead (or rich) parents, probably. My brother and I constantly joke that when our mom dies, we’ll just move into her house and live rent free. Because it’s the only way either of us will ever come close to owning real estate.
This is in their parents’ house.
It’s not too late to change your ways.
Oh sure, lemme just pull out all this disposable income and time I have for drinks, cab fair. Yea its definitely within budget to spend $50 round trip traveling + $50 buying rounds + $30 food + etc etc etc.
For sure I can do that 3-4 times a week to be social. That’s only like ~$500 a week. Or ya know what, maybe we just cut down to like twice a week, thats only $1k a month. Who cant afford that, right?
Ya know what, maybe we just need to cut some costs. Hmmm cab fair is expensive, let’s just drive! That’s easier anyways, let’s get drunk and drive a couple days a week because we cant afford to be responsible AND sociable…
EDIT: actually, know what, I thought up another way to save some money. Lets save some money on food. We can’t afford to be eating out all the time anyways. So yea, lets go out, drink on an empty stomach and drive home. Making some changes! Making friends! Going out and being social!
What’s your monthly streaming bill? (Hoping you say $0 because YAAARRRRR!)
I’m not trying to presuppose everyone’s lives or say they have to be a certain way. But we can do things to be with people that doesn’t cost money or even involve drinking. I realize that I live in a very walkable, highly mass-transit-friendly, extremely accessible city. BUT, spending time with friends, playing games, riding a bike, walking, etc., are all ways to stop streaming and make changes.
I get it. You’re trying to unseat my statement as insensitive to your plight. I meant it in good faith, though. There was a time before smart phones and limitless streaming. We hung out, we played music, we read books, we drew, we painted, we lived. We can still do it.
It’s hard. I’m trying. I try to draw every day. I spend time writing for a D&D game I DM for. I write music and try to get through the dumb darkness we’re living in. Streaming comes at the end of the night when I am going to bed.
Good luck. I wish more social life and socialism for everyone. :)
Drive to each others places and don’t drink. You don’t need alcohol to have a good time with friends. Hang out online. Meet people who live in walking distance.
None of these options is perfect; we’d rather be able to meet exactly whom we want, and do exactly what we want when together. But the topic is socialising, not socialising in exactly the way we prefer.
Most of my friends don’t live in the same city as me, so it’s not easy for me either. But by one method and another I still have social contact.
There’s places to live where you don’t have to drive. Your attitude suggests that will not happen where you live within your lifetime.
I’m not sure if you have the ability to move, but it could cut down on transportation costs for going out. It would probably save money on daily commutes as well.
Ah yes, “just move” man, I wonder why people didn’t think of that? It’s so simple!
I get what you’re saying, but it’s the equivalent of telling a depressed person “have you tried being happy?”.
As an external observer to this conversation, you’re not reading taking part in good faith. Try to understand the intention of their replies.
I did everything I could to not say “just move” while still giving it as an option.
What I was trying to say is that there are more options than owning a car. Find other means of transit. Vote for other means of transit.
If you are stuck, I am sorry.
You could just go to the park or some other free venue
The issue is getting others to do the same
You can save money on food if you steal it and save money on alcohol if you steal it and drink somewhere you’re not allowed to be instead of a bar and have a designated driver or use a bustrain which is just lots of busses hitched together but usually only like two anyway maybe learn something from queer culture this is why the second half of being gay is doing crimes it just seems like all your socializing is investing in conspicuous consumption stuff and you can just not 9r even get together with your friends to like build stuff or whatever I promise there’s options
What?
Tldr be gay do crimes
This is why trains are awesome.
Just move to Europe. /s
But seriously, it’s crazy to think that people can’t afford to go out because of transportation costs. When I was in my 20 I would just walk to the city center or take a tram, drink $1 beers and go back home in a bus. Now I take $2 train. It’s so sad that Americans built their shitty system on purpose.
No you can totally still do these kinds of things in cities in the US. You just have to sacrifice other things like space, car, etc and a lot of people that grew up in suburbs aren’t willing to do that.
Bro ur justifying being anti social to urself. Go out once a week with a group of friends get fucked up blow a couple hundred bucks its fine.
Or have a beer or two over the course of 5 hours as you chat with people then double check you’ve sobered up and drive home. The idea that one has to get hammered to go to a bar is crazy.
Hell I used to go to nights out at a board game bar, got a veggie burger, a glass of mead or a cocktail, played for a few hours, then drove home fine, for like $60 between the wife and I. Only stopped because I moved away.
Veggie burger oof that tells me everything I need to know.
That I don’t eat meat? It was an excellent veggie burger, and my wife quite liked their meaty options.
Sounds like a very car centric lifestyle. I moved to a bike friendly city and my outings cost much less. A six pack of beer from the store will last me two nights out. A night out might be biking to a friend’s place for board game night or doing a group bike ride with stops on the way. Night out costs like 5usd. Granted, that’s not the only socializing I do, but in the summer especially I bike or walk 99% of the time.
You’re seeing the consequences of young people growing up during COVID. It is very, very difficult to unlearn what we were socialized for in our youth.
For most people who experience this, it literally is too late to change their ways. It’s possible but requires extreme effort and likely years of therapy.
There’s no amount of well meaning aphorisms older generations can pull out to make this better. It is a public mental health crisis and needs to be treated as such, not treated as individual failure.
I think the biggest issue is that we have shifted culturally. People still need social connection but from a cultural perspective it is less appropriate to be social.
I think change is easier than people think as it is just a matter of forcing yourself to break cultural norms.
That would require friends, which is a factor beyond my control…
Not 100% under your control, but certainly not “beyond control”
I can’t control other people. Other people can choose to not be my friend, to not invite me anywhere, to not talk to me, to leave whenever I show up.
No, having friends is something beyond my control.
Honesty just be
The best way to meet people is to talk to random strangers you happen to see once and a while
Right, in a world where everyone seems to be saying “Don’t bother strangers in public, nobody wants to be bothered!” I’m supposed to just go out and… talk to strangers… until I magically make friends?
So all the things people criticized me for in the past (i.e., talking to strangers who apparently didn’t want to be bothered) are now precisely what I’m supposed to do to overcome the symptoms of the social rejection I experienced from being labeled as someone who talks to strangers in public?
Yeah, I’d rather die alone than twist my brain into knots trying to decode that jumbled mess.
Having specific friends maybe, but get out there and you’re guaranteed to find someone who’s on your sine.
Wow, it’s really like you have no idea what I’ve actually been through and experienced over the years of trying to do exactly that and persevering even in the face of rejection, ridicule, derision, and scorn.
Alone might be depressing, but at least it’s peaceful, and I’m getting too old to rock the boat, especially now that I’ve attained a modicum of mental stability.
As someone who did live like image 1 in late 20s and early 30s, it sucks so much when you have to go back to image 2.
Maybe better not to experience it at all.
Same, I’m 42 and went out every weekend with friends for a good 5-6 years from like 21-27. You could actually afford to do that back then.
You mean you own a house? Wow man congrats!
And he has time to watch TV.
Between rent, school loan, car payments and groceries I was pretty much tapped out. Pulling 60hr weeks I didn’t have social time even if I wanted to.
20 years later I never made new friends but at least I’m working a normal 40hrs. Still paying all the same bills and still no time. But I do see the same parents at all the kids activities. That’s close enough, right?
I do see the same parents at all the kids activities. That’s close enough, right?
that’s pretty much how my parents socialized, so…
Agreed. Just depressing how the moment your kid moves up to a better or different team and poof, your “social network” is gone and needs to be replaced.
yeah. the trick is, finding the parents in the groups that you are actually real friends with. not just acquaintences. having a small regular gatherings with those close friends, the ones you want to keep in touch with. it takes more work, but it is worth it.
this is advice coming from the outside so take it with a grain of salt. it’s like, hey, shit shoveler. shovel more shit. you have too much to do already.
Yeah I think we all get the concept. The issue comes down to time and resources. My “free time” starts around 1AM after all my adulting responsabilities are done. At that point a movie or a book and sleep is all I have time for. Next week is a mild week with 5 days of kids activities, 2 birthday parties, and hopefully finding time to mow the lawn.
yeah, my wife and i don’t have kids and even we are going on dates buying groceries. i don’t know how y’all get it done.
Instead of drowning, you learn to hold your breath. Doesn’t mean it is fun, just keeps you alive.
If the characters hadn’t spent practically every night drinking until 2AM, HIMYM could have been compressed into a movie with a shitty ending instead of 9 seasons with a shitty ending.
FML I thought that was “Friends”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Same. The two in the middle look like Monica and Ross on first glance (and a fuzzy thumbnail).
It had few actual laughs and most episodes did feel like filler. Not the worst sitcom, but not the best.
That’s because that’s what a sitcom is, filler. It’s the journey. People complain too much about filler and don’t know what it means.
How I Met Your Mother is so interesting to me because the best parts about it stem from the fact that it’s characters are all horrible people. Yet the writer’s clearly don’t realise this very obvious fact about their own show.
Also, it wholly erased it’s own place in the culture by having an absolutely trash final season.
It’s also deeply, libidinally, transphobic. Like, holy shit it’s so bad
The best parts about the show is that people with clearly different values and personalities can still be friends. But i guess it hits differently for echo chambers.
Indeed.
And it makes fun of normal-ass white people way more than it makes fun of queer people, but some people honestly believe that they deserve to be free from all offense unironically. Which is weird.
Any show made pre-2008 is going to have a different vibe culturally.
Still a good show, even if it’s not for your tender palate.
You say words then don’t back up your words with facts.
It’s been a while since I’ve watched the show, why are Robin and Marshall horrible?
I’ll take watching TV over drinking anytime. And I hate watching TV.
Drinking is also really bad for you so it isn’t like you are missing much
More like:
Having fun satisfying relationships with friends
vs
Sitting at home alone watching TV
a bowl tho? fuck yeah
These kinds of experiences aren’t only in cities, but they do become a lot easier if you’re not living in a cow pasture.
Living in cities brings other challenges. It means there are too many people, so everyone just kind of keeps to themselves.
This person has citied
What I miss most about the city (D.C.) is how easy and natural socializing was, but I know it’s possible for it to suck there, too. So far, my rural experiences are generally much lonelier, but not without their own charms. But nights out at cool bars or hosting all my cool coworkers at my cool apartment haven’t been nearly as feasible for me in those more rural contexts. (Yet?)
not too drunk to watch tv huh? keep at it
I spent my 20s in college and LAN parties. Try them… it’s a blast!
and here you can see the electric meter for the house.
Where’d you get that picture of me and the boys?!
So THAT’S the source of any noise!
Can’t try college right now, but LAN parties are legit! I hope somewhere they’re still a thing…
They still can be!
Casual multiplayer games are really seeing a resurgence lately and I couldn’t be happier!
RV There Yet, Peak, Sledding Game, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, A Gentlemen’s Dispute, are just a few!
What’s a good number of parasocial AI friend instances to invite for a good time?
Trying to get a human connection from an LLM is a fast why to cook your brain.
Oh yeah, when I see couch co-op games go up, I collect them. I’m so glad this is coming back!
I recently introduced some family to playing Worms: Armageddon hotseat style, and that was ridiculous fun. (And it can run on a potato probably! Lol)
The hardest thing anymore is just getting adults in a room together, and convincing them to try new games and get set up and everything.
(Jackbox tends to be most accessible but I really want to play more involved games with people…)
The hardest thing anymore is just getting adults in a room together, and convincing them to try new games and get set up and everything.
So much this 😿
It’s hard to get people in a room together but at least getting them into a group chat is easier, and usually once you can get past that barrier for awhile get the IRL barrier cleared can be easier.
They were usually just friend groups who took their entire computers over to someones house.
Think sleepover but you also bring a box of electronics
Haha yeah I actually did a few of these before, and they were awesome.
I remember really enjoying UT2k4, Command & Conquer Tiberium Wars, and a ridiculous number of Warcraft III mods (and DOTA lol).
A lot of my friends really liked CounterStrike 1.6 though and…I honestly wasn’t much of a fan hah. (It was the hitboxes and spread. AK bursts center mass? No dice. Get hit in the foot by a submachinegun? Ded. I know, skill issue prolly lol.)
I remember once we played a few games and then everyone just logged into their individual WoW accounts around the end of the night. Lame lol.
Logistically, I definitely don’t miss having to get the game(s) installed on everybody’s machines, and make sure everybody’s got the same patch version, and that kinda thing. Steam’s actually made that a ton easier! (Especially with things like 4 packs and sales.)
More recently we tried a LAN party, and Warsow saved the day since it was free on GOG. That was a TON of fun! Sad that’s a “dead game.”
In highschool the whole computer lab would be playing Battlefield Modern Combat, or Battlefield 2142, and that was REALLY fun with a full house. (Getting to hear people shout “Alright WHO IS
<username>?!?!?!” was great fun.)I would kill for a ressurected battlefield 2142. I know there is a community one out there but I wish it made a comeback as a remaster or something.
SO MUCH. I got so hyped for a brief second there a while back, until I realized it was “2042” and they missed the “1”. Then I was like “Aw c’mon for real?”
The aesthetic was really cool, and Titans mode was awesome. Although I’d like if we could solve the problem where every server owner froze titans in place because they’d crash / slow down the server if people moved them! 😂
I even got that preorder version that gave you a flashdrive that looked like one of their dogtags. THAT was cool!
But we need a good smaller studio to basically create a spiritual successor. Definitely wouldn’t trust EA with this anymore! It’d have some rootkit-style windows-only anticheat and a storefront baked in.
It’s right up there on my unlikely wishlist along with “Sims 3 but allow more RAM and multithreading.” 😂
Actually know what tho? Titanfall 2 fills that 2142 niche somewhat closely. That game’s incredible. I’m glad we seem to still have that, at least.
I don’t think land parties have been a thing for a long time
Sure older people will do them but that is out of nostalga for what was
