“When you’re here, you’re family” (Fast and the Furious)
“A Florida woman has been accused of entering the penguin enclosure to teach them to tap dance, using a live alligator as her partner.”
I can’t fix her. She’s already perfect.
I know. I do wish I was her.
Don’t let your dreams stay dreams. I’m not saying it will be easy. Get an alligator and a pineapple costume. Sign up for tap lessons and bring them along. Volunteer as a docent at your local zoo. Success isn’t guaranteed, but I bet you’ll be surprised with how far you get.
Thank you for your faith,…the alligator is likely to be my biggest challenge. Maybe a baby croc…or a Winnie dog in an alligator outfit……it’s the same thing really. I don’t suppose I even have to learn tap to teach it. So there’s a few hurdles down.
Does she have a sister?
At this juncture, I would point out that !floridaman@lemmy.world also accepts “Florida Woman” submissions.
EDIT: Unfortunately, it appears to be fake.
I mean, fake or not, it’s just such a great sentence.
I need this pineapple costume.
I believe we have a winner lmfao
I like her
“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
I’d agree, but that’s 2 sentences.
Dammit
Okay imagine there’s a semicolon there instead
“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”;
Still doesn’t work.
At least now it compiles
In the end, isn’t that the real treasure?
Half the kingdom and my firstborn for passing tests
I guess a string literally followed by a semicolon would be an interesting way to leave a comment. I may use this in the future since comments are against my religion. Figuring out what my code does is future me’s problem. And that guy’s a dick he never comments his code.
Em dash that bastard
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Every time I unzip my pants to go pee the fruit flies laugh at me. It’s not my fault they never saw a banana this small before.
“This too shall pass”
If something good happens, it’s a cautionary warning to stay humble.
If something bad happens, it’s a comforting reminder that things will get better.
I saw this quote on the desk of a proctologist I once visited.
Good point
I’ve also heard “Everything ends”
Buffalo buffalo WHICH Buffalo buffalo, buffalo buffalo Buffalo
It annoys me that the quoted sentence misses out essential words.
Not an essential word if you the listener have context! It’s just that understanding this phrase is reliant on reader knowing context (i…e either that buffalo tend to buffalo buffalo OR just the theory/gimmick of the sentence itself.)
Also i believe OP made some effort to indicate via Capitalisation that one repeated buffalo is a proper noun. (Place name)
See: Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an) Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an) buffalo(vrb), buffalo(vrb) Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an)
pl: place, an: animal, vrb: verb.
Washington cats [missing] florida rats chase, annoy Vegas whores.
There needs to be a which, that, who or something in that missing space for a proper sentence structure.
Here’s some discussion of omitting “that” after a noun. I don’t agree with Grammar Girl on what sounds awkward but she acknowledges that sentences can sound awkward but not be “wrong”.
The Packers haven’t drafted a quarterback despite rumors they were interested in doing so.
Again, these sentences aren’t wrong, but they would sound a lot better with “that” inserted after the nouns “allegations” and “rumors.”
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/articles/when-to-delete-that/
Quaterback Love [that] Greenbay Packers drafted, played Detroit Lions.
Some sentences can drop the relative pronouns and still make sense. This isn’t one of them.
“The quarterback the packers drafted” sounds fine to me
You’ve had to add “The” to make it make sense.
“Quaterback Packers drafted” doesn’t make sense.
Nope, that makes perfect sense to me without which that or who.
“Washington cats florida rats chase annoy vegas whores”
- The washington cats 2. Which florida rats chase 3. They annoy vegas whores
It’s a question of where you put pauses and intonation, when sounding it out in your head (or to another person). If you read it monotone it makes little sense. Unfortunately, knowing how its said requires deciphering it first. A lot of english novels have stuff like this, you’ll probably find - you have to read sentences twice to understand what it means
I think you proved my point. You needed to add the word “which”. A pause makes the first part sound like a list.
There’s probably no way for me to prove to you that it makes sense to me, unless you learn how to make sense of it yourself. I mentioned “which” and “they” because, as an english speaker knowing context about cats and rats, i can infer what connective could go there, but i don’t need it because without the connectives we get a more colloquial informal way of saying it all.
Is english your first language or is something else ?
Are you saying the following sentence is perfectly fine English?
Quaterback Love Greenbay Packers drafted, played Detroit Lions.
No. It’s missing at least one word.
They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.
“In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move”.
I’ll read this phrase but I won’t enjoy it
The chinese poem “The Story of Mr. Shi Eating Lions”
Shíshì shī shì shǐ shì, shì shǐ, shī shì, shì shí shí shī. Shī sì shì shī. Shǐ shì shè sì, shì shī shì, shǐ shī shì shí shī shī, shì shí shí, shǐ shí shìshì. Shǐ shǐ shì shì shì shì, shì shī shì. Shì shì shì shì.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion-Eating_Poet_in_the_Stone_Den
I wouldn’t label it as “the greates sentence ever”, rather as a great example why chinese is a highly cumbersome and impractical language.
Look at what “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” needs to mimic a fraction of that power
“I look both ways when I cross a one way street, because that’s how much faith I have in humanity.”
I live on a one way street. The amount of vehicles that zoom by in the wrong direction is ridiculous
People don’t think it be like it is, but it do
“That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse”
Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes
"Do you think… God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created, here on Earth? "
Dr Romero, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams, written by Robert Rodriguez.
I thought this was his character in Con Air
Tiān gāo, huángdì yuǎn Heaven is high and the emperor is far awayIs one of my favorite.
Another is the a misattributed quote:
Les hommes ne seront jamais libres tant que le dernier roi ne sera pas étranglé avec les entrailles du dernier prêtre. Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.Though the apparent original is good too.
Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois. Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre, Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois. I seek neither to rule nor to serve. And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest, For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.The second line from the US declaration of indpenedce is a banger too:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.John Brown’s:
I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day.Is also really good.
I seek neither to rule nor to serve. And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest, For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.What does that even mean? What thing’s hands are we talking aboit by the second line?
It’s a truncated quote from Diderot. The full verse is:
J’en atteste les temps ; j’en appelle à tout âge ; Jamais au public avantage L’homme n’a franchement sacrifié ses droits ; S’il osait de son cœur n’écouter que la voix, Changeant tout à coup de langage, Il nous dirait, comme l’hôte des bois : « La nature n’a fait ni serviteur ni maître; « Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois. » Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre, Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois.A slightly better translation would be:
I bear witness to the times; I appeal to all ages; Never, for the public good, Has man willingly sacrificed his rights; If he dared to listen only to the voice of his heart, Suddenly changing his tone, He would say to us, like the dweller of the woods: “Nature has created neither servant nor master; “I wish neither to give nor to receive laws.” And his hands would tear out the priest’s entrails, For lack of a cord to strangle kings.It is the voice of the forest, dweller of the woods being a stand in for anarchists. So the hands strangling kings with priest’s entrails are those of the man realizing the importance of rights and freedom. Diderot elaborates across the poem about the character of political order. Declaring that no law or political rule is sacred or natural. Mankind makes sociopolitical structures, they are not natural, and thus nature will gladly unmake them, as a king dying, for example. Essentially, he says that no elevated, supernatural, or godly power exists that will stop the hands of a person who has chosen to defy political oppression. It was extremely controversial in the XVIII century, a liberal cry for revolution against political systems that still stood over the pillars of a god given right of monarchs to rule. It’s called Les éleuthéromanes, I’m not gonna try to translate that, but the full text can be found freely.
That one’s so good it makes me want to learn French.
I seek neither to rule nor to serve. And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest, For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.
That’s two sentences.
Worse yet it’s missing some good context that dustyData shared in this thread. I just included it in reference to the quote I thought of
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
