Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.
This isn’t exactly news.
But it also misses what a “promotion” means in theory (more autonomy and control, resources to pursue projects, underlings) versus what it means in practice (a token title change and a small raise with a ton of extra responsibility in an underperforming section of the firm).
So much of how you make progress in a business is to turn lemons into lemonade and sell that lemonade to your bosses.
Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics…
Only way your gonna get anywhere is if you eat ass
Does linkedin they also have instructional infographics on how to get a raise or promotion by blackmailing or extorting your boss?
sleeping with the boss if you are a hot secretary
Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.
Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.
Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.
Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.
Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.
Year 1: “incredibly productive”
Year 5: “not about the work”
I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.
Like that’s really the purpose of the company… manufacturing schmooze, so we need good schmoozers
“You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute.”
And let’s be fair, no one is getting the promotion.
Year 1: incredibly productive
So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?
Hahaha get fucked i’ve worked remote since 2015.
I’ve been remote since 2013. We said “distributed” because it was important that we didn’t have a central office. This kind of thing happened much less. A company can do distributed well.
That hasn’t held up forever. Because, well, gestured wildly at entire sub.
lol what a load of bullshit
I’m sure there is a little truth to it sometimes but one big thing this ignores is that many of us have always had remote coworkers because our employer has multiple offices in different cities, countries, and continents around the world. I’m not worried about someone who’s in the office with my boss passing me by because that’s a tiny minority of everyone we work with anyway.
Interestingly, this is also why WFH has held up at the company where I work. Even when you go in to the office, you spend half the day on zoom. Our company has consolidated floors, closed whole offices and entire campuses to reduce the amount of real estate it pays to maintain. There’s a lot of savings in it for them. And our CEO has said that he likes how remote work makes it trivial to get the entire leadership team together for a conversation because they aren’t all flying around the world constantly, inaccessible for days at a time because they’re traveling. They do make in person visits, but don’t live on planes like they used to. They also did the math and they exceeded their 10 year goal for climate reduction overnight just by going to remote.
There are so many benefits for the company as well as the employees that I’m really confused why some companies go all RTO. Probably they just don’t have good systems in place to know who’s doing their job. We do.
Happened to me… Except that before last step I quit.
Left a job of 10 years, project lead senior engineer, because fuckers FAFO’d an RTO. Of a team of 5, I was one they expected to stay because I was “close to the office”. I was the first one to find a new, full time remote job.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
AI bullshit!
How is that bullshit? People do like to give promotions to other people they like, sometimes irrelevant of talent. Look at literally all non-democratic governments.
And it’s no secret random conversations not about work happen a lot more in person. These are the kind of conversations that make friendships, not the 1 on 1 with your manager on teams.
This is why most sane companies don’t force you to do 4 days but instead make it so that if you only have to do 2 days at the office, they’re the same 2 days of the week for everyone to avoid the situation in this post.
So incompetent management promoting the people who suck up to them (their “friends”) rather than based on results and how well people are competing their tasks.
Sounds like a shit company/manager to work for. Better off finding another job.Also, people tend to get promoted faster by switching employers. Don’t fall for the lie of “company loyalty”.
I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.
I’m never going back into the office. I rather make less money.
What’s interesting is that I’m actually making more money doing remote because I don’t need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I’m making 40% more $.
Not having a conversation with my supervisor for months at a time is literally the dream.
If I didn’t have to explain the same exact shit I did last week in the 4th different way and have you still not understand, BUT still want to…
I appreciate that you want to understand, but I recognize you won’t and that is okay. You don’t need to know the details to take credit for the work. Your insistence to understand is wasting all of our time and most of my productivity.
Whoever came up with this has probably always used ‘optics first, actual results last’ in their shitty career so far.
Considering this was made with AI, yes, absolutely
Fitting. LLM feels like working with that coworker that his core skills are actually convincing everyone (especially management) that he provides value, when in reality he drags everyone’s performance down.
Fake it til you make it
Fake it till others believe your bullshit.
The secret to this is not believing in the promotion fairy.
If you want a promotion, apply for it at another company. If you get it, awesome, if you don’t, try at a 3rd company.
At my current job, the agreement is I do the job you hired me for, and you give me the money and benefits we agreed upon.
oh I believe in the promotion fairy. Just not the raise fairy.
More responsibility, same salary…
xactly. promotions and title changes are given out like candy.
I find it interesting how “the promotion” is an end in itself. No context, no details, just “the promotion”. And you didn’t get it! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Of course, because promotion is the only way to get ahead, by taking on more responsibilities and managing other people, god forbid you’d get a raise just for being really good at what you do.
My last company had a cool pathway where you could become a “distinguished engineer” instead of a manager and get the same sort of huge salary and stock options. Unfortunately, my last company also liked to lay off huge swaths of engineers, particular those who were a year away from being eligible to become “distinguished engineers”.
Find a company that has it. The evil silicon Valley tech bros almost all offer it. Senior, staff, senior staff, principal, distinguished, fellow…
This “promotion as next obvious thing you want” needs to die. I don’t want to go manage people and have told my manager that I’m happy in my current role and I don’t want a promotion. He was quite happy to know he did not have to worry about that.













