Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics…
Only way your gonna get anywhere is if you eat ass
Does linkedin they also have instructional infographics on how to get a raise or promotion by blackmailing or extorting your boss?
sleeping with the boss if you are a hot secretary
Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.
Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.
This isn’t exactly news.
But it also misses what a “promotion” means in theory (more autonomy and control, resources to pursue projects, underlings) versus what it means in practice (a token title change and a small raise with a ton of extra responsibility in an underperforming section of the firm).
So much of how you make progress in a business is to turn lemons into lemonade and sell that lemonade to your bosses.
Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.
Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.
Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.
Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.
“You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute.”
And let’s be fair, no one is getting the promotion.
Year 1: incredibly productive
So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?
Year 1: “incredibly productive”
Year 5: “not about the work”
I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.
Like that’s really the purpose of the company… manufacturing schmooze, so we need good schmoozers
A raise with no promotion = more pay for the same responsibilities.
The last point in year 3 sounds divine.
Also at the end of it all they went for a 4 day work week, on top of the raises.
Hahaha get fucked i’ve worked remote since 2015.
I’ve been remote since 2013. We said “distributed” because it was important that we didn’t have a central office. This kind of thing happened much less. A company can do distributed well.
That hasn’t held up forever. Because, well, gestured wildly at entire sub.
I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.
I’m never going back into the office. I rather make less money.
What’s interesting is that I’m actually making more money doing remote because I don’t need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I’m making 40% more $.
I find it interesting how “the promotion” is an end in itself. No context, no details, just “the promotion”. And you didn’t get it! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
This “promotion as next obvious thing you want” needs to die. I don’t want to go manage people and have told my manager that I’m happy in my current role and I don’t want a promotion. He was quite happy to know he did not have to worry about that.
Of course, because promotion is the only way to get ahead, by taking on more responsibilities and managing other people, god forbid you’d get a raise just for being really good at what you do.
My last company had a cool pathway where you could become a “distinguished engineer” instead of a manager and get the same sort of huge salary and stock options. Unfortunately, my last company also liked to lay off huge swaths of engineers, particular those who were a year away from being eligible to become “distinguished engineers”.
Find a company that has it. The evil silicon Valley tech bros almost all offer it. Senior, staff, senior staff, principal, distinguished, fellow…
LinkedIn is such wanker filled trash
Funny how, even in their weird masturbatory LinkedIn fever dreams, the person still ends up going from working in office five days a week, to four.
So apparently all of this was still worth it.
We need a new plague.
Hopefully they learned from recent history and do it right this time around.
