Iowa city council debates proper time in meeting agenda to “undo the curse that was just put on our city.”
An Iowa man has kicked off controversy over religious freedom in the small town of Ottumwa, Iowa by opening a city council meeting with a prayer to Satan, which then kicked off a debate about the proper time in the meeting agenda to undo the “curse.”
lol
People often seem to forget that “Religious Freedom” means all religions, not just yours.
Never mind the importance of the separation of church and
skatestateI’m glad you fixed it. Some priests are not down with the separation of church and skate.
He’s going for that sweet Christ Air
Forget air fryers, let’s talk about air friars.
Amen brother
electronic music intensifies
♫ EVEN FLOOO-OO ♪
separation of church and skate
sings
Now, Heaven would be a DJ spinning dub all night long
And Heaven would be just kicking back with Jesus packing my bong
And if you don’t believe in Jesus, then Muhammad or Buddha, too
And while the world is warring, we just sit back and laugh at you, singing
If I die before I wake
At least in Heaven, I can skate
'Cause right now on Earth, I can’t do jack
Without the man up on my back
I was actually referring to NOFX, but that’s a solid song too
You will literally hear dumb fuck xtians argue until they are blue in the face that what the Founders really meant to do was to merely allow you to choose among an array of xtian sects. Maybe if you are spicy, you’ll be permitted to be Jewish, because well, Jesus was a Jew. And we will “tolerate” that.
Other xtians just seem to view “religious freedom” as “xtians get special privileges and they should be able to treat certain groups less-than if it suits them”.
And man, they’ll definitely get butthurt when you point out that the First pretty much requires that you have freedom FROM as well as freedom OF. And that “OF” means…anything, not just xtianity. I’ll be a fucking pagan on Monday, fuck you very much because of that OF, and if I please, I’ll be an atheist on Tuesday because of the FROM. Because that’s real religious freedom.
Thanks for your opinion, Charles Darwin
freedom from it, as well.
But mine is the only correct one!
—selfish idiots
That prayer is fire.
Dear dark father, let us stand now unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds and darkened times. Let us embrace the Luciferan impulse to eat off the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old.”
Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not for their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations,” he continued. “Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break. And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise.”“It is done. Hail Satan,”
What’s ridiculous about it is, if any of the people who were offended actually sat down and analyzed the wording, the only thing they could reasonably object to is the “Hail Satan” at the end. Which illustrates the entire problem with Christian Nationalism. They don’t care about the content, only the branding.
No, there are religious people that object heavily to truth seeking. One must only have faith, you don’t need truth!
Jebus never lies and neither do old racist southern preachers.
Sure. I don’t consider that a “reasonable” objection, though.
“They don’t care about the content, only the branding.” - Which is also the problem with Trumpism.
The venn diagram is a circle within a circle
Not sure if the “luciferan impulse to eat off the tree of knowledge” would slide all too well
Jesus freak here and I concur. This prayer is a 10/10 no notes.
This you?
Actually yes, kinda, lol. Not religious but definitely trying to live in a Christlike manner. Everything in that prayer is a call to the highest, godliest principles. If anyone who claims the name of Jesus has a problem with it, they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. But I don’t think I need to tell y’all that :3
At the Tuesday night council meeting, the audience stood up to recite the Pledge of Allegiance the moment Dalbey finished.
The dubiousness of unquestioning nationalism aside, the pledge of allegiance containing ‘under god’ also makes it a religious phrase.
It’s honestly so weird. The whole ritual needs to be done away with
But without idiotic, blind patriotic fervour, what will become of 'Murica?
Won’t nobody think of the flags?!
They should do as Alcoholics Anonymous did. Change god for “higher power”. Because, you know, people need a higher power nanny.
BTW: Alcoholics Anonymous has a direct surrender to God in 4 of it’s 12 steps, and indirect mention in 2 more. And god is obviously a “Him”
AA was started by a pair of Christian revivalist Oxford Group (now known as Initiatives of Change) members. They believe that fear and selfishness are the root of all problems, and that the solution to living without fear and selfishness is to “surrender one’s life over to God’s plan”.
Basically, they don’t think people, in general, can govern themselves and require a sky daddy to keep them on track.
Fucking Reagan.
I appreciate the sentiment but what does Reagan have to do with the pledge? It was changed under Eisenhower.
maybe they used the original?
It didn’t used to
Even if they removed ‘under god’ from the pledge of allegiance today (Republicans would probably filibuster any such attempt in the Senate), indoctrinating students at public schools with its daily recital has contributed to an unhealthy level of nationalism that leads to not only a view of American exceptionalism, but also the belief that any overt or covert attempt to replace the governance of foreign countries with institutions closer to that of the United States must inherently be good.
Agreed
they added the Under God part during the Red Scare to show the world that the US wasn’t a secular godless nation like the USSR at the time.
That’s also when they started putting “In God we trust” on our money. Assholes.
Even as a kid growing up in the 90s, knowing separation and state and finding it odd as fuck we had “In God this and that” in various aspects of our lives. Even my developing, super small brain could tell something didn’t add up right. 🤨️
Hail Satan.
Does he drive taxis? Or are you just forecasting the weather to him?
He’s got a flat rate to and from the airport
Is it $6.66, $66.6, or $666?
Depends on the city:
- $6.66 to get to Midway from the Loop
- $66.6 to get to Newark Liberty from Manhattan
- $666 to get to Mccarran from The Strip, oh and the credit card reader is broken so he only takes cash, but only tells you that at the destination.
Mephistopheles is a pedicab driver.
And Jerry is a race car driver.
I hear he drove so goddamned fast.
They only want religious freedom when they’re using their religion as an excuse to infringe on other people’s rights. Hail Satan.
Hail Satan.
Hail Stan
🥉
Cthulhu fhtagn!
🥈
rAmen
🥇
Rick Bick is a party pooper. Don’t be a dick, Rick Bick.
The prayer is a common one used by the Satanic Temple of Iowa. “Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not for their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations,” he continued. “Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break. And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise.”“It is done. Hail Satan,” he finished.
Another citizen, a pastor named Rick Bick, rushed to the podium. “Let’s just reverse that curse that was just put on our city,” he said. “That ending with hail Satan and hail dark god. That’s not welcome here.”
Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not for their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations.
Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true.
Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all.
That which will not bend must break. And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise.
Think about it. To me that sounds like a literal slice of heaven, especially that last line.
But this guy’s convinced it’s a curse. Either that or the
multi-syllabicbig words made him scared.Sounds like Rick Bick is thick as a fucking brick.
Honestly it’s very hard to argue with anything in that prayer, it’s pretty reasonable and clear.
Only thing I don’t like is the call for judging. I do think people can change, they should be judged on their actions and intents, but we should reasonably allow for second chances and improvement.
One thing Christianity is good at is taking people who feel irredeemable and reassuring them that they’re still people with a chance in life. As long as people see their wrongs and try to improve, I think we can and should forgive some things.
I hate the people who continue being shit then say God forgives them or Jesus died for them so it’s all washed out. That’s the same energy as throwing stuff on the ground because there’s a janitor. You are responsible for your actions and their impacts, just asking for forgiveness shouldn’t grant it without sincerely understanding and trying to improve.
Imagine being a grown-ass man listening to this, taking the stage and unironically saying “that was a curse put on our city, and most of you know that”. They actually fucking believe that some guy saying “Hail Satan” has the power to “curse” a city.
Another citizen, a pastor named Rick Bick, rushed to the podium. “Let’s just reverse that curse that was just put on our city,” he said. “That ending with hail Satan and hail dark god. That’s not welcome here.”
“Mayor, that should be done at the end,” city councilor Cara Galloway said.
“It needs to be done now, OK.” Rick said. “I appreciate what Ms. Galloway is saying but that was a curse put on our city when he said ‘Hail Satan’ and the dark god and most of you know that. And we need to just stop and reverse it.”
“So what I’m gonna do now…I’m just gonna invite us into a 30 second time of prayer — time of silence.”
“No,” Galloway said. “We are at the consent agenda. I’m sorry, but it’s time to move forward. The invocation happened.”
“As mayor of this city…I’m going to ask right now that we do a moment of silence to reflect on whatever it is we need to reflect on at this time. And then we will move to the consent agenda,” mayor Benjamin Foote said.
I should start giving incantations, that reaction is gold.
And this is exactly why the Satanic Temple exists.
Hail Satan
I used to be a preacher, and am still a Christian. I also have given money to the Satanic Temple because the work they do is important.
Separation of church and state is good for the government, the churches, and society at large.
You’re chill, man. Keep on keepin’ on.
you can tell the real christian churches because they are active in protesting in the current time.
I just bought a hoodie and mug from them. I been on the email list for years. Solid trolling on their part.
Mayor’s worst nightmare came true
Too tight of a schedule to cast that counter spell.
Plus an Oathbreaker only has so many spell slots 🤷🏻
Thick prick Rick Bick is a sick dick.
“No, not like that!”
They say “religion” but what they really mean is “christofascism”
What’s the matter Rick? Too much freedom for you?
That’s something most Americans don’t understand about our history. We love to claim that the first settlers in the modern-day states (Puritans mostly) were ‘fleeing religious persecution’ and sought a new land where they could gain ‘freedom of religion’. Pretty much all of that is wrong, they were a fringe early-Protestant group who wanted to distance themselves from the new Church of England which they felt was still too Catholic. Once they got here, anything and everything they considered too heretical was… well, see the Salem Witch Trials for a prime example. They were the epitome of “freedom for me, not for thee” and that attitude/practice went on to infect the whole rest of the country as history progressed.
To paraphrase the immortal Robin Williams: “people so uptight the english told them to get the fuck out”
And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise.
🔥🔥🔥
I love that Satan is little more than “fuck you” to established systems and norms.
I mean, that is kindof Satan’s whole deal.
Naw. In Christian theology…. Satan is god’s henchman.
You’d think these law and order type Christians would love his loyal and dedicated service…
Satan is a title. Before the King James Version, the title of Satan was used like a black hat in an old western movie. It’s not any one person or entity, it is whomever acts as the opponent for the specific story.
The KJV wanted to make the Bible more approachable for the average person, because the Church of England had a very “it’s only for the rich and powerful” vibe that it was trying to shake. One of the ways it did this was by simplifying some concepts like Satan, condensing the multiple Satans into a single recurring entity.
That’s also why the KJV leans so heavily into the thee’s and thou’s. That was informal language at the time, mostly used by the peasant class. And if you’re trying to make a book more approachable to the peasants, you write it in peasant-speak. Ironically, we tend to think of “thee” and “thou” as sounding extremely haughty, but it’s because the peasants always emulated the rich. The rich used “you” and “yours” instead, so that’s what the peasants eventually gravitated towards to try and sound proper. And now to modern speakers, “thee” and “thou” sound like they’re from an era of kings and queens, so we tend to associate them with royalty instead of the peasants who actually spoke it.
You’re thinking of Lucifer, who is often God’s henchman before he rebels. His whole schtick was that God would tell Lucifer to go tempt some mortals, to see if they pass His purity test. And Lucifer, being God’s most perfect creation, was immediately disarming and charming. Nobody would be tempted by a dude who obviously looks like a devil. God basically sent Lucifer (the world’s most solid California 10 with a disarming personality) down to earth, to tempt the dirty mortals (who pulled teeth to try and cure the common cold, and had probably never seen anything above an unwashed Iowa 1.5).
That’s an interesting interpretation of Lucifer given he’s the Serpent in the garden which is supposedly after his fall…
But then again what isn’t contradictory about the Bible?
If God is almighty and all-knowing why did he let in there or even let “fall”?
The obvious answer is: it was orchestrated.
All that to say god had more than one henchman.
Which isn’t untrue. Not that most Christians understand this.
The KJV was also meant to be aligned with Anglican theology over Catholic theology (namely papal authority… which anglicans held belonged to… the king….)
That would imply these people knew what they were preaching and not just parroting a pop culture chimera of a relgion
Now, I’m no religion expert, but isn’t Satan the first cast out angel of heaven, doomed to rule over hell for all eternity? Doesn’t sound “henchman” to me. Sounds more like the guy who can’t leave his job getting all the clients the other guy doesn’t want to manage.
Not trying to be snide when I say: read the Book of Job. In it, God and Satan are work colleagues discussing what to do with Job.
Cartoon fanfic here: https://youtu.be/6E2pvA0hZKw
The original Bible doesn’t mention any kind of Satan.
It’s an adaptation from the later Quran terminology shaytaan or al-Shaytan, which means demon, devil, evil spirit, anything that is against God.
In the Quran the first shaytaan is also said to be Iblis, the first fallen angel (equivalent of Lucifer, as the origin story matches up quite closely).
Later Bible translations adopted this terminology as the name Satan, but in reality it’s more of a title as above explained - it can be applied to any hell-dweller who’s gone against God.
Then of course this morphed into many meanings… so there’s multiple ways to interpret it:
- as Lucifer’s title for his rebellion
- as a distinct prince of hell in demonology
- as a general term for any evildoer who’s specifically against god
all in all, it’s basically the worst religious insult one can use.
the worst religious insult one can use.
Christ’s cum-dumpster, that’s the worst they’ve got?
I mean, being named the ultimate enemy that must be vanquished at any cost IS pretty much up there with the worst possible insults.
It’s not worst in the sense of being the most vulgar, most outrageous statement. It’s the worst in the sense of it being the highest insult of one.
I mean imagine if I stated that in the name of all Europeans, YOU are public enemy number one. That you’ve done egregious acts against all Europeans that must not be tolerated, that must be avenged at all cost. That from now on, all Europeans have the right to exterminate you.
It is a pretty high insult, isn’t it?
I’ve been called worse. sniffs haughtily
More akin to the guy who thought he could do the job better then his boss quit in a huff and opened his own business. Then proceed to just get bought out by his old boss and now is fucked twice.
And at the last, the boss planned it all happening because he’s a sadist who wants to fuck every thing over.
Yeah, he’s glorious isn’t he?
Satan sounds like my kind of guy 🥳
What a simple minded bumblefuck. ‘oh no, a curse’.
The ridiculous part of this whole thing is if you listen to what the guy actually said, if you get rid of the ‘dear dark father’ at the beginning and ‘hail satan’ at the end, it’s actually a pretty good invocation that SHOULD have no problem at a council meeting.
Didn’t at all sound like a curse to me, sounded like good advice for a city council.
…let us stand now unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds and darkened times. Let us embrace the … impulse to eat off the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not for their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break. And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. …"
If you ignore the Lucifer stuff, it’s a damn solid invocation. Apparently that pastor dude couldn’t see past the Lucifer stuff and called this a curse.
True, but he also probably would have a problem with most of the content as well as the flavoring
When you’re interfacing with the world emotionally, that’s how it goes. I mean, we’re all emotional, but for some people that’s the bulk of it. Emotions create reality. For other people they’re more advisory.
“Let’s be reasonable”
“CUUUUUURSE”
“There are two things I know about white people. They love Rachael Ray. And they are terrified of curses.”
its really all you need to know.
edit: ok I thought of a few other things we like: yoga, therapy, music by black musicians that black people dont listen to anymore, bottled water, gentrification, farmers markets, food without spices, and wes anderson movies.
Am very white, nearly see-through, so I know these things.
oh man. It made it hard to watch the show after she laughed about how she would go with her husbands yearly trip to southeast asia but it was a special boys only trip. must be uncomfortable as heck to work on that show.
All they have to do to undo the curse is walk three times backwards around the courthouse while wearing necklaces of garlic, wild onion, and nightshade.
Lucifer was the most beautiful of all angels and was cast down to earth for daring to question God’s authority.
Not that any of those cross eyed bear-ing Christians would know that.
Edit: apparently this is Milton’s fanfic.
That’s fan fiction, it’s from Paradise Lost, not from biblical canon
The entire new testament is fan fiction. Iēsous of Nazareth didn’t write any of it, the first assumed author never even met him.
The “biblical canon” of today seems to be more or less just whatever was later dictated when Christianity became the Roman Empire’s state religion. Who knows how much other, potentially more accurate reports about Iēsous were lost during that dictatorship?
Now, I agree that Paradise Lost does not have any claim to veracity. I would just also say any claim the new testament has is null and void.
The whole Bible and every other “holy” book is fanfiction, technicaly ¯\(ツ)/¯
yeah I was about to say, just cause ones older than the other doesnt give it any more credibility.
They were still written by men, men with agendas. Same with every translation they’ve gone through, Not only getting translated, but having minor to major tweaks to suit the new agendas.
Bible is an astrological sungod myth for the dawn of the age of Pisces (fish), end of age of Taurus (dead bull), and looking forward to age of Aquarius (guy with water pail). It tells the winter solstice, dying for 3 days and rising again, the spring equinox triumph over darkness, and helped civilizations track the 2250-year constellation progression into Pisces. In 2250 we’ll need a new Bible for Aquarius.
I prefer just calling him by his English name, Joshua, or just Josh for short.
“I am just joshing around” “Jesus christ”
You gotta specify which Josh though, he’s Josh with the ointment
TY! TIL.
Corrected, or at least acknowledged.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve read the old testament.
IMHO it’s all fanfic.
Technically, all stories are made up, be they prose or poetry.
The Bible is the canon story so Milton would be fanfic.
If the Bible was fanfic, it implies the canon lies elsewhere. I consider it a fantasy epic, but a really really dull one. It’s like someone thinking Harry Potter is non-fiction - you’d have to be special to think it happened.
The Bible is fanfic in the sense that most of the books were written decades after the life of Jesus and add details that contradict eachother and some retcons.
For example, Matthew 28:11-15 adds a story about guards at the tomb of Jesus, the author of that gospel wrote it 100 years after the alleged “resurrection”, by then there were already rumors (and he probably knew about it) that the body of Jesus disappeared because it was stolen not because it was resurected. So, by adding that detail to the story he countered said rumors. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
I think if we’re using modern genre words, a story about a guy I’ve heard stories about in the past, maybe with some embellishment, would be considered Historical Fiction.
Yes, the Book of Mormon is fanatic though.
To add to your point: the story of Jesus (born of a virgin, visited by three wise men, performed miracles, etc.) Was told of many gods and dieties before the story of christ. I believe Horus is a prime example.
It’s the power of fiction and storytelling made into a weapon.
I think Gilgamesh is the first recorded one but I’m not 100% sure
Like all fanfic, there is no canon! There are different canons (assembled by the various councils throughout the ages) but no clear and uncontroversial total authority.
If anyone reading this is looking to do some edits to their own head canon, I strongly recommend Jesus, Son of Man by Kahlil Gibrain.
Wasn’t it the Council of Nicea (or something like that) that more or less assembled the Christian Bible as we know it today? Which means there’re a bunch of stuff that didn’t make it in.
Some of which appears in Jewish scriptures and in Islamic scriptures or lost to time.
If it’s written by fallible men, and edited by fallible men, then its “Canon” isn’t worth shit.
The Ethiopian Bible exists and has the stuff they took out. Its a good read too and most modern Christians dont dismiss it out of hand. Just to play devils advocate, the weird thing is if we look at original texts of the Bible from western Europe and then we look way east to the orthodox people in Russia and then down to the Ethiopian Christians in Africa, all their texts are the same. Not just similar, the same. Yeah, there are some translational differences, but theyre really not huge. Then we find the dead sea scrolls and even then, same exact texts. These texts spread like wildfire all over the world. Now I get it. I see Christianity today and the absolute bastardization of it all and I understand why what i believe would and should be completely considered irrational. When you get down to what Jesus taught, its so much simpler and philosophical than the religion being espoused by sonny Christians Who seem like they’ve never actually read the book. Over the years, ive talked to a lot of people one on one about it, a lot of staunch atheists. When I’ve had the time to actually explain things to them over a beer and not just expected to defend myself with a couple of sentences, I’ve always had them walking away with a least the understanding of why. Because when you take what Jesus said, remove the religion and rules and crap everyone has tried to tie to it, then put it into a philosophical context, its pretty plain to see what he was saying was “dont be an asshole and love everyone. Youre going to reap what you sow. Theres a God that created all this around you and what he wants is your spiritual enlightenment and for you to willingly give of yourself and do no evil, not because of reprocussions, but because its the right thing to do.” To bring it to a modern example: be the guy at the Cornell party who sees the situation, picks that girl up and carries her out of that house and gets her somewhere safe. Not being the guy doing lines of ketamine off of a drugged up, passed out girl. If you can be that guy who stands up and does the right thing even if it means losing everything, I think no matter what, youre my brother. And thats what Jesus was trying to teach.
It depends on the speaker. Just like you are explaining Jesus’s pro social teachings, i went to a Bible study for a while where the guy leading it kept studying the passages claiming that only followers of Jesus would be saved.
Don’t forget that when you translate it from the original, you make choices about which words to use
They literally put the ending on the cover! No sense for narrative arcs or dramaturgy.
IMHO I agree
The biblical canon is written by flawed, biased narrators though. I think it’s perfectly valid to project an alternate canon onto their story.
Most of the bible is fanfictions “according to (insert prophet here)” i think its closer to a Hatsune Miku situation where any bible verse can be canon
So the figure of Satan is exclusive to that specific book and religion then? (“the Bible”). You know that it’s largely based on other religions and books, right? 👀 Bible doesn’t have more or less authority over Satan/Lucifer/Bahomet/AnyOtherOriginName than Paradise Lost or any other holy or not holy book 😬
I’m not saying Paradise Lost is a literary achievement on par with the Bible. I’m saying the Bible is a literary achievement on par with Paradise Lost.
apparently along with several other angels that rebelled with him, depending on which lore you want to get into.
Satan and lucifer are different entities
The word “Lucifer” appears only once in the Bible (Isaiah 14:12), and is a Latin translation of the Hebrew “hêlêl”, which was referring to Nebuchadnezzar II, not Satan or an angel or any other supernatural being.
That prayer was pure poetry. You can state the exact opposite of what’s said in the christian bible and it makes perfect, rational sense.
Is it available on Youtube?
No idea. It’s notated in the article.
